In writing the Human Magnet Syndrome books, the overriding goal was to provide explanatory and theoretical information about codependency, pathological narcissism and their dysfunctional relationship “dance.”
Thousands of people have asked me to write about codependency treatment/recovery, but I have stayed resolute on my mission to answer the very important “why me?” and “what is this?” questions. My beliefs regarding the importance of explanatory information should already be quite familiar but it deserves mentioning again: codependents or mental health practitioners cannot overcome codependency if they don’t know what it is.
Moreover, if it’s either misunderstood, mislabeled, or it is confused with another problem, issue, and/or disorder, then the treatment of it will surely have limited results, or will completely fail.
These are the typical signs of codependency:
Low self-esteem
Self-worth/self-esteem is dependent on being needed and having few needs
Excessively compliant to suggestions, requests or inappropriate orders
Preoccupied with the problems, struggles and needs of others, while neglecting her own
In an attempt to be everything to everybody, loses ability to take care of her own needs
A champion and avid supporter of the needs, goals and dreams of others while ignoring or devaluing her own
Adept at solving the problems of others while not being able or motivated to solve her own
A perpetual people pleaser, always looking to help or lend a hand
Struggles at declining a request for help— may feel guilty or needy
Over-commitment in many important relationships
Creates excessive/impossible work and personal schedule
Unable to ask for what she wants or needs
Feels selfish or needy when asking for help
Feels bad or guilty when saying no to a request for help
Difficulty identifying and communicating emotions
Willingly conforms to unrealistic and unreasonable relationship expectations
Fearful and avoidance of disagreements and conflict
Feels powerless to protect herself from harm; easily manipulated and exploited by self-serving individuals
Does not set firm boundaries (consequences) when mistreated and/or abused
Attempts to control or manipulate others who typically neglects her or him
Confuses work and personal relationships
In an attempt to be helpful, pushes her “help” onto others
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