Narcissists & Credit Card Companies Over-Promise & Trap
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In this YouTube Ross compares credit card debt to core shame. First, he explains how core shame is a foundational element of codependency or Self-Love Deficit Disorder/SLDD. You believe that you will be loved and appreciated but the problem is, a codependent is always attracted to a narcissist.
The core shame feels like this incredibly large boulder that the codependents cannot get out from under. It perpetuates further by proving to the person that it is right. Core shame accumulates throughout the codependent’s life and without the specialized treatment it cannot ever be vanquished. It builds and builds. It becomes this huge responsibility of paying a debt that can never be repaid, because you should not have paid for it in the beginning. Like credit card debt, core shame builds and builds. You try to overcome it, you try to prove to yourself and other people that you can have the resources. Despite your commitment to pay down this debt, to come clean and be responsible, and debt free, it is impossible.
Then he explains how Pathological Narcissists are analogously like unscrupulous credit card companies. How they manipulate and over promise vulnerable people to take the easy way out but to later saddle them with a worst version of the problem than they started with.
Core shame reminds the codependent what is wrong with them. That they are alone and lonely. They think that it is through the narcissist and their acceptance and their love, that they will be relieved of this debt but they are “borrowing” from a ruthless lender, who has set up interest rates and payment schedules that end up being too much for the codependent.
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