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“Codependent Martyr Syndrome Some codependents rationalize, or repackage, their codependency traits into what they believe to be positive behaviors. Their codependency becomes a badge of honor of sorts, to be worn proudly—and often. These individuals experience what I refer to as the codependent martyr syndrome. Codependent martyrs are intensely proud of their selfless, sacrificial, and long-suffering approach to their relationships. Their identity and self-esteem becomes fused with their codependency. These martyrs are proud and even boastful about how much they do for others as well as how much they sacrifice in their lives. These belief patterns are often impacted by their family values that are passed down from one generation to the next. This transgenerational pattern is often influenced by regional, ethnic, cultural or religious beliefs and practices.” Excerpt from my new book
“Codependency Anorexia–Starving One’s Self of Love Codependency anorexia occurs when a codependent surrenders to her life-long relationship pattern to destructive pathological narcissists. The codependent often transitions to codependency anorexia when she hits bottom and can no longer bear the pain and the harm meted out from her malevolent pathological narcissists. It is paradoxical in a sense, as it occurs during a moment of clarity, when the codependent realizes that she is completely powerless to stop her attraction to lovers who, in the beginning, feel so right, but shortly thereafter, hurt her so badly. In an effort to protect herself from the long line of soulmates, who unexpectedly convert to cellmates, she will flip her vulnerability switch to off, which results in a complete shutdown of all emotional, relational, and sexual machinery.” Excerpt from my new book