Pseudo Narcissism / Kid in a Candy Store Phenomenon
Through SLDD recovery and the attainment of Self-Love Abundance, the SLA (Self-Love Abundant) is finally allowed and free to manifest the version of themselves – the person who they always should have been, but never knew existed. A fitting analogy is a “kid a candy store.”
The excited and highly motivated SLA can get lost in the freedom of being their newly discovered happy and successful self. This results in a feeling of euphoria, excitement, and unhampered enthusiasm. Like a teenager trying on potential identities, this SLA will make plenty of mistakes, as the learning curve can be steep. As much as they wanted the fruits of self-love and the accompanied to freedom to manifest into their true potential, they may over-do the enthusiasm. In addition, they may make key social and interactional mistakes, because they have yet to learn the skill-set of unencumbered self-esteem (self-love) expressed in relationships or in public.
Hence, these excited SLA’s spike up the Continuum of Self toward higher “self” CSV (continuum of self-value). Such a spike may appear as narcissism, even Pathological Narcissism. But it is not because the SLA can be aware of their narcissistic ways, feel badly/have empathy about it, and make necessary adjustments. And when necessary and appropriate, this “kid in a candy store” can take responsibility for their actions and make amends for them in real time. There is no experience or reaction of a narcissistic injury.
The SLA who loses themselves in their newfound experience/attainment of personal, emotional, and even financial wealth, may very well harm others and themselves, and not even know it. It is therefore incumbent on these overly-excited and ambitious SLA newbies to become conscious of their narcissistic spikes, make efforts to catch them before they occur, spot them when they occur, and make amends to those who are accidentally harmed by them.
SInce the goal of healthy relationships is a well-balanced distribution of love, respect and care (LRC), it is imperative that “SLA freshman” get a chance to revel in their Self-Love Abundance, while also paying attention to how it may impact others. Dialing down one’s excitement about a new life that is absent of core shame, pathological loneliness, the addictive pursuit of narcissists, and a relationships with similarly self-loving people, might not be easy. But the effort to become disciplined and measured in the “candy store” will be well-worth the effort.
Creator of “The Codependency Cure: Recovering from Self-Love Deficit Disorder” seminar (and upcoming book)