When you Unmask a Covert Narcissist, RUN, but Quietly!

By Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADCSelf-Love Recovery Institute – President/CEOPsychotherapist, Educator, Author, Expert Witness Covert narcissists are the worst type of narcissists. They thrive by pretending to be something they are not. They pretend to be altruistic, kind, and codependent. Covert narcissists get what they need out of life by creating a false self. Simultaneously, they hurt people in their most intimate relationships by behaving pathologically narcissistic behind the scenes. But what should YOU do if you have …

read more »

What Happens When You Break Up With A Narcissist

12 Manipulative Strategies To Keep You Trapped FROM FULL-LENGTH SEMINAR VIDEO: ESCAPING NARCISSISTIC ABUSE You have lived through a life of gaslighting and now you are stepping out of it. You are ready to break up with the narcissist. You are escaping narcissistic abuse. Even with your preparation, even with your great Stage-4 work, and your mastery of Observe Don’t Absorb (ODA) and the strike rule, it is going to be difficult. It starts by …

read more »

Adult Children of Alcoholics & Codependency

Similarities & Differences Because many people confuse codependency / Self-Love Deficit Disorder with Adult Children of Alcoholics, Ross created this video to straighten things out. In it he explains the differences between ACOA (ACA’s) and SLD’s (Codependents). As much as there are similarities and common traits, these two groups are quite different. Click here or image for video ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics) is as a designation for a person who was raised in a …

read more »

CORE SHAME IS LIKE CREDIT CARD DEBT

Narcissists & Credit Card Companies Over-Promise & Trap Click Here for the YouTube Video In this YouTube Ross compares credit card debt to core shame. First, he explains how core shame is a foundational element of codependency or Self-Love Deficit Disorder/SLDD. You believe that you will be loved and appreciated but the problem is, a codependent is always attracted to a narcissist. The core shame feels like this incredibly large boulder that the codependents cannot …

read more »

Healing the Inner Trauma Child Psychotherapy Method

On Karen McMahon’s “Journey Beyond Divorce” podcast Ross talked about his “Healing the Inner Trauma Child” (HITCH) Trauma Resolution Method. He explains how and why childhood attachment trauma is responsible/the cause of Self-Love Deficit Disorder/SLDD (codependency). Toxic and harmful parenting/home environment are the cause of attachment trauma. Parents who are pathologically narcissistic and SLDD/codependent, are the cause of attachment trauma. They discuss who and why childhood attachment trauma later manifests in either Codependency or Pathological …

read more »

The Five Love Languages Doesn’t Work with Codependents & Narcissists

In this video Ross explains the danger of applying Gary Chapman’s “Five Love Languages” concepts to codependents (Self-Love Deficients/SLD’s) and Pathological Narcissists when in marital/couples therapy. Although this book is universally helpful to the majority of people, it can create unintentional harm to codependents/SLD’s. It is simply dangerous to use Dr. Chapman’s brilliant and universally helpful work on this population. The “Five Love Languages” rests on the presumption that two people are healthy enough to …

read more »

The Relationship Compatibility Continuum

Using simple graphics and math, Ross Rosenberg’s Relationship Compatibility Continuum explains and quantifies the unconscious and reflexive attraction between two people in a relationship. The graphic explains why people are drawn to a certain type of oppositely attractive partner (not just codependents and narcissists). It intuitively accounts for why so many people remain in unhappy and dysfunctional relationships despite feeling lonely, frustrated, or resentful. Similarly, it explains why some people tend to repeat their dysfunctional …

read more »

The Catch-22 of Gaslighting: Making the Effect the Cause

The song by The White Stripes, Effect and Cause, painfully illustrates the catch-22 trap that Pathological Narcissists ensnare their Self-Love Deficient/SLD (codependent) victims in.  In this song, the person tries to hold the gaslighter accountable, but he (or she) finds the strength to hold on to their own version of  healthy and accurate reality.   Gaslighting is used by narcissists to entrap, sometime permanently their SLD victims. Effect and Cause The White Stripes https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzWckYfZhbA I guess …

read more »

Loneliness – by Ross Rosenberg

Poem Written When 17 Years Old Loneliness is a feeling, which is so hard to accept. It will gnaw at you for a lifetime No matter how hard you try to forget. The pain it causes is unbearable. Only if you knew of this pain and how it hurts. You hope someone will understand, But no one does. All I ask for is one mere favor. Just a friend, someone who cares, someone who loves, …

read more »

My Birthday Promise, by Ross Rosenberg

Self-Love Recovery Institute Exactly one year ago, I decided to look into the mirror and courageously recognize the real man staring back at me. In a moment of brutal honesty I was absolutely shocked at what and who I saw. This supposedly happy and exceedingly successful person looked week, defeated and forlorn. His eyes radiated sadness, loneliness and secret shame. His shameful secret carried so much toxic power that he had to bury it under …

read more »

Blog Categories

Learn about The Codependent Narcissist Trap

The Human Magnet Syndrome - provides answers to why patient, giving and selfless individuals (codependents) are predictably attracted to self-centered, selfish and controlling partners (emotional manipulators).

hms book cover


Paperback $18.95

Digital $9.99

Audio $17.95