I am in the process of writing more about the insidious and psychologically limiting/damaging affects of shame. As I come up with more inspired thoughts, I will add them to this blog entry. Ross
Shame is inexorably tied to the question that many of us will eventually ask ourselves: “Are we a human doing or a human being?” In other words, is our value and appreciation for and about ourselves determined by what we do (and how it impacts others) or by just who we are? Self-worth determined by what we do is neither life-affirming nor life-sustaining. We can never do “good” enough to free us from the shackles of low self-esteem, self-doubt, and insecurity. Essential or core shame keeps us ensnared in a web of self-doubt and self-degradation, which only keeps us on the path that requires us to be good enough to lift the suffocating veil of self-doubt and self-degradation. Cast shame aside, as it serves no positive purpose in your life. Commit yourself to a healing journey, which aims to isolate your core shame, heal the wounds that caused it, and replace it with the sweet nectar of love of self. Be a human being. Do it just because you are.
Shame survives in the dark. Truth, courage, and love of one’s self, brings shame into the light, where it cannot survive. Shame needs fear, self-doubt, and low self-esteem to survive. These “dark” forces, are no match for the “light” of love, acceptance, self-respect and, most of all, courage.
There are two types of shame. Shame for who you are and shame for what you have done. Both are toxic, However, the former is a lifelong affliction.
Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC
Psychotherapist & National Seminar Trainer