Although the lion’s share of the blame lies with the narcissistic parent, the codependent parent also shares responsibility. It is an unfair assessment to reduce this complicated problem to a “good” versus “bad” parent dilemma. Both parents are on the same dysfunctional team. Both prime their children to pass the baton off to the next generation.
“Many codependents have shared their anger, resentment, and even disgust about their codependent parent’s unwillingness to protect them and leave their narcissistic parent. They can recall numerous occasions when this parent could have protected them, but instead choose to either ignore the situation or rationalize it away.“
“The inability of the codependent parent to protect the children co-creates a toxic family environment in which the children are harmed, and their future psychological health is compromised.“
“The codependent’s obsessive-compulsive desire to satisfy the narcissist’s needs, while also trying to control their behavior, depletes the energy, time, focus, and emotional resources that would otherwise be given to the children. Tired and beaten down, the codependent parent often shuts down and disconnects from their responsibility to protect their children and themselves.”
“Although the adult codependent parent is harmed by their narcissistic partner, their codependency should not be considered a valid excuse for not caring for and protecting their children.”
The Human Magnet Syndrome - provides answers to why patient, giving and selfless individuals (codependents) are predictably attracted to self-centered, selfish and controlling partners (emotional manipulators).