Codependency Types

The creation of these codependency types help people who normally are in denial about their codependency/SLDD to see themselves in a specific diagnostic “light.” It is impossible to heal codependency/SLDD if you don’t know what it is and how it manifests within you.

I wrote my Human Magnet Syndrome books to help people understand and identify their codependency/SLDD. For the purpose of healing and overcoming what was previously invisible and unknown to them. 

codependency types
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Codependency or Self-Love Deficit Disorder (SLDD) is a problem of distribution of love, respect and caring, within close, and/or romantic relationships. Codependents give the preponderance of love, respect and caring (LRC), with the hopes of having it reciprocated. All codependents believe that their narcissistic partner will realize their mistakes and finally give them the LRC they want and need. It just never happens.

Passive Codependents

Are more fearful and avoidant of conflict. They disassociate from their deeply private anger and resentment through a persona of admirable empathy, compassion and generosity. They give in to the inequity of love, respect and caring. Such sacrificing martyrs never escape their below-the-surface burning rage.

The attachment trauma experience taught them that there was no benefit in fighting back, or that doing so would result in worse consequences. 

Active Codependents

They aggressively but futilely try to persuade, control and manipulate narcissists into loving, respecting and caring for them. They delusionally believe such constant surveillance and counter-aggression is justifiable and effective. 

Active codependents are often not intimidated or afraid of their narcissist lover. As such, they rely on an aggressive and confrontational approach to both protect themselves and get what they need. Their controlling, antagonizing, and manipulative method is rarely effective. In fact, it often results in the pathological narcissist’s retaliation, which often harms the codependent even more.

Cerebral Codependents

They are the intellectual codependents. Cerebral codependents devour education and “transformational” experiences to overcome narcissistic abuse. They believe that the more information they know, they will be able to solve the problem.

This form of dissociation will never resolve the trauma and core-shame that is responsible for their suffering.   

Oblivious Codependents

They live by the “ignorance is bliss” credo. It is an effective defense mechanism for keeping them comfortable. They not only ignore or deny their problems, but they compartmentalize and rationalize them.

By purposely dissociating from the real causes of their problems, and feigning blindness, they uphold the delusional belief that what is not seen, is simply not there. 

Anorexic Codependents

Codependency anorexia occurs when a codependent surrenders to their lifelong relationship pattern with pathological narcissists. The codependent often transitions to codependency anorexia when they hit bottom and can no longer bear the pain inflicted by their narcissist.

This is a control measure to feel protected, but they starve themselves from normal emotional and sexual intimacy. Also, as soon as the no romance “diet” ends, their insatiable “hunger” for harmful narcissists will return.  


By Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed, LCPC, CADC
PsychotherapistAuthorEducatorExpert Witness

For more information about Ross’s Self-Love Recovery Program, write us at help@selfloverecovery.com

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The Human Magnet Syndrome - provides answers to why patient, giving and selfless individuals (codependents) are predictably attracted to self-centered, selfish and controlling partners (emotional manipulators).

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