The Catch-22 of Gaslighting: Making the Effect the Cause

The song by The White Stripes, Effect and Cause, painfully illustrates the catch-22 trap that Pathological Narcissists ensnare their Self-Love Deficient/SLD (codependent) victims in.  In this song, the person tries to hold the gaslighter accountable, but he (or she) finds the strength to hold on to their own version of  healthy and accurate reality.   Gaslighting is used by narcissists to entrap, sometime permanently their SLD victims.

 

I guess you have to have a problem
If you want to invent a contraption
First you cause a train wreck
Then they put me in traction,
Well, first came an action
And then a reaction
But you can’t switch ’em ’round
For your own satisfaction
Well you burnt my house down
Then got mad
At my reaction

Well in every complicated situation
Of a human relation
Makin’ sense of it all
Takes a whole lotta concentration, mmm
Well you can’t blame a baby
For her pregnant ma
And if there’s one of these unavoidable laws

It’s that you can’t just take the effect
And make it the cause, no

[Chorus] Well you can’t take the effect
And make it the cause
I didn’t rob a bank
Because you made up the law
Blame me for robbin’ Peter
But don’t you blame Paul

Can’t take the effect
And make it the cause

I ain’t the reason that you gave me
No reason to return your call
You built a house of cards
And got shocked when you saw them fall, yeah… yeah
Well I ain’t saying I’m innocent
In fact the reverse
But if your headed to the grave
You don’t blame the hearse
You’re like a little girl yellin’ at her brother
‘Cause you lost his ball, yeah

Well you keep blaming me
For what you did
But that ain’t all
The way you clean up a wreck
Is enough to give one pause, yes
Well, you seem to forget just how this song started
I’m reactin’ to you
Because you left me brokenhearted
See you just can’t just take the effect
And make it the cause

[Chorus] Well you can’t take the effect
And make it the cause
I didn’t rob a bank
Because you made up the law
Blame me for robbin’ Peter
But don’t you blame Paul
Can’t take the effect
And make it the cause