By Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC PART 1 (of 4) CONSISE DEFINITION OF GASLIGHTINGDefining GaslightingGaslighting is simply impossible to comprehend, identify, and permanently eradicate without an accurate understanding of what it is and how it evades detection. Because of its complex nature and apparent invisibility, it secretly lurks in the shadows while perpetuating unfathomable harm upon its targets. To overcome this scourge of a problem, we must update, redefine, and broaden our understanding of it. …

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Written by Ross Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC. Self-Love Recovery Institute – President/CEOPsychotherapist, Educator, Author, Expert Witness So many people suffering from Self-Love Deficit Disorder (codependency) dream of what it would be like to experience personal and emotional freedom. Freedom that has been stolen by remorseless, selfish, and parasitic narcissists. For many, such thievery has occurred right before their eyes. For others, their birthright to self-respect and self-love was invisibly and undetectably stolen from them through sustained and …

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“Induced Conversation” is Narcissist’s Most Potent Weapon

The most effective of all the narcissists manipulative strategies is “Induced Conversation.” Especially when breaking down a no-contact initiative or when trying to hoover (suck back into the relationship) the codependent. For codependents to not get sucked back into the relationship that has nearly destroyed them, they must have a potent counter-measures to survive the narcissist’s induced conversation strategies. ODA & The Wrestling Ring The meaning behind the George Bernard Shaw saying, “never wrestle with …

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Observe Don’t Absorb Technique. How to Disconnect from the Narcissist.

After spending years trying to understand my own relationships with narcissists, as well as working with clients for over 30 years, I developed a technique called Observe Don’t Absorb. The technique was influenced by a saying from George Bernard Shaw who said, “Never wrestle with a pig, you get dirty, and besides the pigs like it.” I immediately saw the connection between the quote and how codependents always lose their battle with a narcissist.   …

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Setting Boundaries with Narcissists

Boundaries don’t work with narcissists. It is critical to fully understand this simple truth. As you begin to accept this, you can begin the treatment for your codependency and learn to protect yourself. Avoid the Wrestling Ring One of my favorite quotes is from George Bernard Shaw. It goes, “Never wrestle with pigs, you will get dirty. And besides, the pig likes it.” This saying shows us that if we choose to argue, confront, or …

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Codependency Types

The creation of these codependency types help people who normally are in denial about their codependency/SLDD to see themselves in a specific diagnostic “light.” It is impossible to heal codependency/SLDD if you don’t know what it is and how it manifests within you. I wrote my Human Magnet Syndrome books to help people understand and identify their codependency/SLDD. For the purpose of healing and overcoming what was previously invisible and unknown to them.  Codependency or Self-Love …

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How Do I Know If a Therapist is Right For Me? 10 Signs.

Almost half of all Americans will suffer from mental illness at some point in their life. Finding a good therapist can be a lifeline in times of need and it could be one of the most important, personal decisions you will ever make. Mental health services, especially psychotherapy is not a “one-size-fits-all” service. So how can you be sure you found a good therapist? Well, there are a few signs that can tell you whether …

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When Today is Yesterday

Poem by Ross Rosenberg Time moves forward predictablyand with precision.Tomorrow can’t be stopped.But in the blink of an eyetoday becomes yesterday. Memories once encased in leaden vaults —Formerly sunkto the bottom of a murky abyss.Springing forward into actionReleasing the electric chargeof the long-forgotten moment. I move forward —but the images pull me back. You are here —but haunted by the presence of the past. I hear you whisper —but startled at the scream. I hear …

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My Favorite 12-Step Acronyms

DENIAL = Don’t Even Notice I am Lying ANGER = Allowing yourself to Not Get Everything in Recovery BIG BOOK = Believe In God Beats Our Old Knowledge DETACH = Don’t Even Think About Changing Him/Her HALT = Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired TIME = Things I Must Earn LIFE = Living in Fullness Everyday NUTS = Not Using The Steps PACE = Positive Attitudes Change Everything SLIP = Sobriety Loses Its Priority SOBER = Son …

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The Fake Photo on the Mirror

You have unknowingly been manipulated to believe you are the broken and not good enough person that you believe to be true. But it is nothing more than the result of gaslighting parents and narcissistic parents. SLDs/Codependents will bring forward into their adult relationship the gaslit version of who they are. I call it a gaslit self-narrative. Instead of having a healthy narrative based upon people that love, respect, and care for you, this narrative …

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Learn about The Codependent Narcissist Trap

The Human Magnet Syndrome - provides answers to why patient, giving and selfless individuals (codependents) are predictably attracted to self-centered, selfish and controlling partners (emotional manipulators).

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