When Today is Yesterday

Poem by Ross Rosenberg Time moves forward predictablyand with precision.Tomorrow can’t be stopped.But in the blink of an eyetoday becomes yesterday. Memories once encased in leaden vaults —Formerly sunkto the bottom of a murky abyss.Springing forward into actionReleasing the electric chargeof the long-forgotten moment. I move forward —but the images pull me back. You are here —but haunted by the presence of the past. I hear you whisper —but startled at the scream. I hear …

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My Favorite 12-Step Acronyms

DENIAL = Don’t Even Notice I am Lying ANGER = Allowing yourself to Not Get Everything in Recovery BIG BOOK = Believe In God Beats Our Old Knowledge DETACH = Don’t Even Think About Changing Him/Her HALT = Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired TIME = Things I Must Earn LIFE = Living in Fullness Everyday NUTS = Not Using The Steps PACE = Positive Attitudes Change Everything SLIP = Sobriety Loses Its Priority SOBER = Son …

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The Fake Photo on the Mirror

You have unknowingly been manipulated to believe you are the broken and not good enough person that you believe to be true. But it is nothing more than the result of gaslighting parents and narcissistic parents. SLDs/Codependents will bring forward into their adult relationship the gaslit version of who they are. I call it a gaslit self-narrative. Instead of having a healthy narrative based upon people that love, respect, and care for you, this narrative …

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When you Unmask a Covert Narcissist, RUN, but Quietly!

Covert narcissists are the worst type of narcissists. They thrive by pretending to be something they are not. They pretend to be altruistic, kind, and codependent. Covert narcissists get what they need out of life by creating a false self. Simultaneously, they hurt people in their most intimate relationships by behaving pathologically narcissistic behind the scenes. But what should YOU do if you have found yourself in a relationship with a covert narcissist? Naturally, coming …

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11 Ways Narcissists Sabotage Break-up Attempts.

Manipulative Strategies To Keep You Trapped. FROM FULL-LENGTH SEMINAR VIDEO: ESCAPING NARCISSISTIC ABUSE You have lived through a life of gaslighting and now you are stepping out of it. You are escaping narcissistic abuse. Even with your preparation, even with your great Stage-4 work, and your mastery of Observe Don’t Absorb (ODA) and the strike rule, it is going to be difficult. It starts by the narcissist becoming scared. They start to lose their power …

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Adult Children of Alcoholics & Codependency.

Similarities & Differences Because many people confuse codependency / Self-Love Deficit Disorder with Adult Children of Alcoholics, Ross created this video to straighten things out. In it he explains the differences between ACOA (ACA’s) and SLD’s (Codependents). As much as there are similarities and common traits, these two groups are quite different. Click here or image for video ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics) is as a designation for a person who was raised in a …

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CORE SHAME IS LIKE CREDIT CARD DEBT

Narcissists & Credit Card Companies Over-Promise & Trap Click Here for the YouTube Video In this YouTube Ross compares credit card debt to core shame. First, he explains how core shame is a foundational element of codependency or Self-Love Deficit Disorder/SLDD. You believe that you will be loved and appreciated but the problem is, a codependent is always attracted to a narcissist. The core shame feels like this incredibly large boulder that the codependents cannot …

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Healing the Inner Trauma Child Psychotherapy Method

On Karen McMahon’s “Journey Beyond Divorce” podcast Ross talked about his “Healing the Inner Trauma Child” (HITCH) Trauma Resolution Method. He explains how and why childhood attachment trauma is responsible/the cause of Self-Love Deficit Disorder/SLDD (codependency). Toxic and harmful parenting/home environment are the cause of attachment trauma. Parents who are pathologically narcissistic and SLDD/codependent, are the cause of attachment trauma. They discuss who and why childhood attachment trauma later manifests in either Codependency or Pathological …

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The Five Love Languages Doesn’t Work with Codependents & Narcissists

In this video Ross explains the danger of applying Gary Chapman’s “Five Love Languages” concepts to codependents (Self-Love Deficients/SLD’s) and Pathological Narcissists when in marital/couples therapy. Although this book is universally helpful to the majority of people, it can create unintentional harm to codependents/SLD’s. It is simply dangerous to use Dr. Chapman’s brilliant and universally helpful work on this population. The “Five Love Languages” rests on the presumption that two people are healthy enough to …

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The Relationship Compatibility Continuum

Using simple graphics and math, Ross Rosenberg’s Relationship Compatibility Continuum explains and quantifies the unconscious and reflexive attraction between two people in a relationship. The graphic explains why people are drawn to a certain type of oppositely attractive partner (not just codependents and narcissists). It intuitively accounts for why so many people remain in unhappy and dysfunctional relationships despite feeling lonely, frustrated, or resentful. Similarly, it explains why some people tend to repeat their dysfunctional …

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Learn about The Codependent Narcissist Trap

The Human Magnet Syndrome – provides answers to why patient, giving and selfless individuals (codependents) are predictably attracted to self-centered, selfish and controlling partners (emotional manipulators).