The Human Magnet Syndrome - Excerpts - page 28

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CHAPTER 13: Your New Life Starts NOW
This book has fulfilled its purpose if the container in which your codependency denial has been sealed, has now
been cracked open. It has also succeeded if you better comprehend the inner workings of codependency and its
addictive compulsion to run away from loneliness and core shame while running toward a dangerous source of
comfort. And, if you are now aware of how and why your inner human magnet tethers you to pathological
narcissists, who, in the beginning seem familiar and safe, but who later siphon off your emotional life source,
then I have succeeded in my mission to educate and protect.
The book’s enlightening, but shocking, truths, some of which you might not have been ready to absorb, have
more than likely caused a great deal of discomfort and anxiety. Learning about the ravishes of codependency,
coupled with its deep seeded nature and the uphill battle needed to resolve it, may have triggered a sense of
insecurity, hopelessness, or even despair. Unfortunately, there is no other way to begin your codependency/Self-
Love Recovery.
Despite the absence of any shortcut, rest assured that there is most definitely hope. The emotional ledge on
which you precariously teeter, will soon transform into a stable, albeit shaky, foundation, upon which your
developing Self-Love Abundant self will rest. I don’t blame you if you are wary of my pronouncement or if you
simply just don’t trust it. It is, without a doubt, a scary proposition.
Drop the Baton
We must end the scourge of codependency, if not for ourselves, then for our children and our children’s
children. You, as a husband or wife, sister or brother, friend, or for that matter, as a beloved member of
mankind should consider joining my crusade to become part of the world-wide fraternity of a self-loving
society. I beseech you to let go of your codependency baton, hang up your running cleats, and
confidently and gracefully walk away from your family’s long line of winning, but losing codependent
track stars. The price you will pay if you stay on your family’s team will come at a high cost. Please trust
me on this. I know.
The road to “The Codependency Cure” or to “Self-Love Abundance” is a rocky one, to be sure. Strewn
with obstacles over which you will likely trip, it is neither a short nor easy road to travel. As noted,
expect it to take a one to two year commitment to complete. This might seem like a long time, but if
you consider the combination of the dysfunctional forces responsible for your Self-Love Deficit Disorder,
and the percentage of your life you have already been encumbered by it, you will see how patience and
perseverance will get you where you need to be, sooner than you could imagine.
Something as good as Self Love Abundance is going to ruffle some feathers. The bird who learns to fly
again, after having its wings clipped, will compel its captor to return it to its cage. By resisting any
efforts to force you back inside the cage, he will likely double down on his methods that previously
worked to bring you into compliance. And try, he will. The math is simple: there will be an equal ratio
between your attempts to escape, and his countermeasures to re-clip your wings. Remember that. This
will be the fight of a lifetime, it will not be easy, and there will be very painful consequences.
As each component of your gaslighting-self is dismantled, you will develop or reacquaint yourself with
your real narratives. Despite not always being happy or positive, they will no longer point downward
where Self-Love Deficit Disorder resides, but rather point in the direction of the sky, where your self-
loving future will be found. What would you say if I told you that you always held all the winning cards
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