The Human Magnet Syndrome - Excerpts - page 15

I lo
15
CHAPTER SIX: ARE WE ALL WALKING AND TALKING MAGNETS?
It has always been my ambition to explain, and even predict the psychological and relational processes
responsible for forming
all relationships—
not only the dysfunctional ones. The preceding opposite
attraction descriptions and theories do just that. My Human Magnet Syndrome Theory is no different as
it represents the full-range of all possible chemistry-driven relationships.
The Human Magnet Syndrome’s metaphorical simplicity is almost poetic. I will never forget when I first
created the book’s title. Despite signing a contract that gave away my rights to title the book
2
, I would
not accept a title designed more for selling books than describing its content. When my Human Magnet
Syndrome aha moment hit me, I intuitively knew, without any doubt, that it would “kill three birds with
one stone.” It would please the publisher, capture the book’s essence, and be catchy. I didn’t need a
marketing department, survey, or focus group to confirm that this title represented the bedeviling
process that pulls codependents toward hamster wheel relationships, which they believe can go
somewhere good, but always disappointingly fall short.
In this chapter, I will explain in detail the Human Magnet Syndrome metaphor which includes the
following:
1.
Terrible Tango:
the natural coordination of the codependent-narcissist relationship.
2.
Opposite Attraction:
the structural explanation for why the relationship works.
3.
Relationship Template:
the instruction book and blueprint that guides the relationship
experience.
4.
Chemistry:
the intuitive feeling of familiarity and safety that kick starts the relationship.
5.
Limerence:
the euphoric landslide that envelopes them both.
6.
Codependency Addiction:
the driving compulsion that keeps the codependent in a harmful
relationship despite suffering and mounting consequences.
7.
Relationship Math:
the illusion of wholeness that takes the codependent’s pain away.
8.
Relationship Orientations:
the manner in which somebody does or does not have their
emotional, psychological and relational needs met when in an intimate or close relationship.
9.
The Relationship Compatibility Theory:
the central theoretical construct that brings together
the book’s opposite attraction (Human Magnet Syndrome) concepts.
10.
The Relationship Compatibility Continuum:
the mathematical and graphical representation of
the Relationship Compatibility Theory.
Human Magnet Syndrome Rules
Before fully launching into the Human Magnet Syndrome Theory, I will give a very basic explanation for
the natural phenomena of electromagnetism. The earth is one big gargantuan magnet, and, like its
smaller cousins, has two opposite poles. Each pole has opposite magnet charges, “positive” and
“negative.” A metal needle in a compass is highly sensitive to the earth’s magnetic field. When the
compass is pointed in a specific direction, its needle’s movement indicates what direction a person is
facing such as North, South, East or West (and many more combinations).
According to the Human Magnet Theory, every human being is a metaphorical magnet, whose polarity is
determined by their relationship orientation. Others Relationship Oriented (ORO’s) carry a “negative”
1...,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14 16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,...29
Powered by FlippingBook