Tag Archives: clinical care consultants

Ross Rosenberg’s Media Kit – Professional Summary

TO VIEW ROSS ROSENBERG’S MEDIA KIT CLICK HERE

unified media kit 4-16-17

 

TEXT VERSION

ABOUT ROSS ROSENBERG, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, CSAT

Ross Rosenberg has been a psychotherapist since 1988. He is a distinguished international speaker, writer, trainer, consultant, and expert in the addiction/sex addiction codependency, narcissism, and trauma fields. He owns Clinical Care Consultants, a multi-location Chicago suburb counseling center, and Self-Love Recovery Institute, formerly Advanced Clinical Trainers.

Ross wrote the highly acclaimed and best-selling book “The Human Magnet Syndrome: Why We Love People Who Hurt Us,” which draws on his own codependency recovery and 29 years of experience in the mental health, social service, and child welfare fields.

Ross is an internationally renowned psychotherapist, speaker, and trainer, who has presented in 27 states and twice in Europe. Because of his YouTube channel, his work has gone globally viral. Of the more than 5.5 million total views, 4 million have been in the last two years. His current subscriber base is at 52,000 and is growing at 23K a year.

THE HUMAN MAGNET SYNDROME: WHY WE LOVE PEOPLE WHO HURT US
Ross’s “The Human Magnet Syndrome” is a game changer; it addresses a topic that affects everyone. Not only has it been published in English, French, and Spanish, it has sold over 40,000 copies. It reached number 1 and 2 in several Amazon best-selling categories and has remained in more than five best-selling categories since it was published in April of 2013.

Men and women always have been drawn into romantic relationships instinctively, not so much by what they see, feel, or think, but more by an invisible and irresistible force. Ross Rosenberg, a seasoned psychotherapist, international seminar leader, YouTube favorite, and recovering codependent, named this compelling and seductive love force – The Human Magnet Syndrome.

The Human Magnet Syndrome is about common, everyday relationships that many of us have experienced but wish we hadn’t. It explains why patient, giving, and selfless individuals (codependents) are predictably attracted to selfish, self-centered, and self-serving partners (pathological narcissists). “Chemistry,” or the intuitive knowingness of perfect compatibility, is synonymous with the Human Magnet Syndrome. This is the attraction force that brings compatibly opposite, but exquisitely matched, lovers together: codependents and pathological narcissists. This magnetic love connection predictably begins like a fairy-tale, but quickly morphs into a painful “seesaw” of love, hate, hope, and disappointment. At the end of the day, the codependent’s dreams of a soul mate invariably dissolve into a “cellmate” reality.

ENDORSEMENTS

“I recommend “The Human Magnet Syndrome” to those who work in social services, education, chemical dependency, or the counseling fields and to the people they touch. It’s time to wake up and this brilliant book sounds the alarm we need.” – Melody Beattie

“Born in the cauldron of personal experience of suffering and healing, and honed through years of professional experience, this book will help anyone understand the attractors of love and consequent suffering. I recommend it to couples who are mystified by the depth and repetition of their pain, and to therapists whose destiny is to help them.” – Harville Hendrix

MEDIA EXPOSURE

Ross’ work has been highlighted on various TV networks including ABC, Fox News and WGN News and he participated in a recent ABC/Hulu documentary about Internet dating. His work has appeared regularly in the Chicago Tribune & Publisher Weekly and he is a regular contributor for The Huffington Post, PsychCenteral.com, and TheGoodMenProject.com.

CODEPENDENCY CURE™ / SELF-LOVE DEFICIT DISORDER™ RECOVERY

“The Codependency Cure”™ is Rosenberg’s Human Magnet Syndrome work follow-up. Similar to his first book, he has created innovative theories, explanations, clinical models, and techniques of the problem that is responsible for the “Human Magnet Syndrome.”

“Self-Love Deficit Disorder (SLDD)”™ is the much-needed reformulation of the term “codependency.” It strips the antiquated and often misused word of its shaming connotations while providing a realistic description of the problem. As most people with SLDD will tell you, they would never be in harmful relationships with pathological narcissists if they had a stable sense of self-love.

The Observe Don’t Absorb Technique has captured the world by storm, as it (the video) has provided nearly 500K YouTube viewers a powerfully effective tool against narcissistic abuse.

ROSS’ TRAININGS/SEMINARS
Ross is an accomplished and expert trainer, seminar leader, and keynote presenter, renowned for his unique, break-through topics and charismatic training style. His work is equally appreciated by professionals and laymen. The training that inspired his book was presented in 27 states, 60 cities, and became a best-selling DVD training product. Ross created the company Self-Love Recovery Institute (formerly Advanced Clinical Trainers) as a platform for his training work where all his seminars are now available for purchase online.

ILLUSTRATING THE CODEPENDENCY CURE

Rosenberg’s SLDD and SLA pyramids represent the problem and the solution for “The Codependency Cure.” The SLDD pyramid represents the linear development of SLDD while demonstrating it as a symptom of much deeper and more fundamental problems. The Self-Love Abundance (SLA) Pyramid is the graphical representation of the “Codependency Cure.” The Self-Love Abundancy Pyramid is a mirror image (opposite) of the SLDD pyramid.
10 STAGES SELF-LOVE RECOVERY MODEL
The 10 Stage Self-Love Recovery Model represents the latest thinking and theoretical formulation on codependency, attachment, and addiction treatment. It is the backbone for “The Codependency Cure” and “Self-Love Deficit Disorder” material. Each stage represents a linear and sequential element of a treatment process (method) that permanently eradicates SLDD (codependency) while opening a healing and restorative pathway to “Self-Love Abundance,” otherwise known as Self-Love Recovery.
CERTIFICATION PROGRAM FOR THERAPISTS

The only way for Ross to resolve the conundrum of getting hundreds of requests a month for his psychotherapy services or for a referral to someone with his professional abilities, was to create “The Self-Love Recovery Certification (CSLR) Program.” His ambition is to create a world-wide CSLR practitioner network.
INTERNET, WEBSITE, EMAIL and SOCIAL NETWORKING REACH

The Codependency Cure and Self-Love Deficit Disorder concepts have captured the interest of thousands on his social networking platforms. Combining YouTube, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, and Instagram, Ross has accumulated over 75,000 connections. Ross has an email list of 11,000. He currently hosts 4 active websites: Clinical Care Consultants, Self-Love Recovery Institute, Human Magnet Syndrome in English and in Spanish. The English Human Magnet Syndrome website gets approximately 19,000 visits a month.

GLOBAL YOUTUBE CREATOR

Over the last four years, Ross’s 95 instructional and inspirational YouTube videos have been viewed over 5.5 million times. Not only has he accumulated over 52,000 subscribers, but 38% of them are from a foreign country (His HMS website has similar statistics). His top ten videos have been viewed 2.5 million times. His most viewed video has been viewed 480,000 times. It is not the amount of views or subscribers that define Ross’s global YouTube success, but the way he has helped millions of people to overcome the pain and suffering of narcissistic abuse and Self-Love Deficit Disorder.
ROSENBERG’S LINKS

His counseling center: http://goo.gl/uuWrwJ
Human Magnet Syndrome Book Site: http://www.HumanMagnetSyndrome.com
His training/education company: http://selfloverecovery.com
His articles: http://goo.gl/bTesnk
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheCodependencyCure/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/RossRosenberg1
YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/clinicalcareco¬¬nsult
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rossrosenberg_slri/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/clinicalcareconsultants
Blogs: http://humanmagnetsyndrome.com/blog-posts/   and http://blog.clinicalcareconsultants.com/

CONTACT

Ross Rosenberg, (847) 749-0514 ext. 120 or at Rossr61@comcast.net.

Available nationally and internationally by arrangement and via telephone.

When Selfish Is Actually Self-Love.

 

WHEN “SELFISH” IS REALLY GOOD

It is GOOD for SLD’s (Self-Love Deficients or codependents) to be selfish. It is like learning to ride a bike. Doing something for yourself and not caring what people think is a dangerous proposition.  “Selfish,” therefore is good.

The problem is the voices in your head have been lying to you; telling you that you are being bad, when you are just trying not to drown anymore.These voices have never been yours. Rather, they are covertly implanted narratives that were designed to confuse you, turn you against yourself, and break you down. It is time to break the gaslighting spell and regain the true voice in your head…your own! Fall a few times, brush off the pain, and get back on the “bike.”

Learning to love yourself will frighten people, who have only one way to get you to quit the nonsense of SLDD (Self-Love Deficit Disorder or codependency) recovery. They will call you a “narcissist” and try to make you feel ashamed and guilty for your moments of self-care. Scoff at the projection, this is more about them than you. Ride your bike all the way out of their life!

 

Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, CSAT
Clinical Care Consultants Owner
Self-Love Recovery Institute Owner
Psychotherapist, Author & Professional Trainer
Author of The Human Magnet Syndrome

Creator of “The Codependency Cure: Recovering from Self-Love Deficit Disorder” seminar (and upcoming book)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Codependency Anorexia: Are You Starving Yourself from Love?

Codependency Anorexia

Codependency Anorexia is a logical solution for people with Self-Love Deficit Disorder™ (SLDD) who are hopelessly addicted to dangerously attractive narcissists.  As a last-ditch protective strategy, the desperate codependent (SLD™) shuts down their innate and natural impulse to fall in love, thereby rendering them safe, but disassociated relational robots.  Although intimacy starvation provides a sense of power and control over real and invisible threats, it adds another of many layers of shame & loneliness to their SLDD.

It is paradoxical in a sense, as it occurs during a moment of clarity when the only obvious choice is to freeze one’s natural “love impulse,” which has, up until this time, consistently blown up in their face.  If the codependency anorexic barrier is challenged, an alarm of extreme anxiety is sounded, which does not stop until the threat has been neutralized.   At the end of the day, the codependent anorexic is safe from harm, but the cost is extraordinarily high!  Safety, without the experience of self-love and the healthy love of others, is no different from being jailed for a crime that was never committed.

Based on the Ross Rosenberg article featured here

Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, CSAT
Clinical Care Consultants Owner
Self-Love Recovery Institute Owner
Psychotherapist, Author & Professional Trainer
Author of The Human Magnet Syndrome

Creator of “The Codependency Cure: Recovering from Self-Love Deficit Disorder” seminar (and upcoming book)

SELF LOVE RECOVERY INSTITUTE                         

 

Hitting Bottom: When The End Greets the Beginning (Poetry by Ross Rosenberg)

I wrote this twenty years ago, when I had hit what I thought was the bottom of my life.  The poem helped me put into words the trauma i had endured while in a relationship with a very abusive woman.  It served as a catalyst to understand and eventually heal the highly traumatic abuse I had endured.

Although the trauma of the relationship seemed to have ended, the impact of it was embedded in my psyche.  Writing the poem helped release some of this toxic energy welling up inside of me.  Writing  it also helped me create a clear boundary from where I was and where I needed to go.

 

When The End Greets the Beginning

The Fist clenched, balled tight
Waving high in the sky
Like a tattered flag of war
Firmly declaring the message of hard fought freedom

The Arm stretched higher than its length
Wanting to go even higher
But held back by its physical limitations
Desiring to support the rage of its neighbor hand

The Body tense with anxious exhilaration
Energized by the wave of spontaneous emotion
Reacting – wanting to release
Neither knowing nor understanding the electric energy

The Mind, racing with scenes of the past
Remembering the torrent of pain
Memories frozen in time – razor sharp
Unable to understand, but finally able to feel

The Heart embattled and tired
Once protected by walls made of carefully controlled rage
Cracking, crumbling, disintegrating under their own volition
Heralding the light to pass through

The Soul, confused and bewildered
Like the newborn’s terror at birth
Interpreting the beginning as the end of safety
But all the while willing to open his eyes and greet what lies ahead

Ross Rosenberg
9/22/97

Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, CSAT
Clinical Care Consultants Owner
Advanced Clinical Trainers Owner
Psychotherapist, Author & Professional Trainer
Author of The Human Magnet Syndrome

Creator of “The Codependency Cure: Recovering from Self-Love Deficit Disorder” seminar (and upcoming book)

SELF LOVE RECOVERY INSTITUTE                         

 

Gaslighting Is Everywhere!

For more information  about the webinar, click HERE.  

To register for the webinar or to purchase the video click HERE.

Gaslighting Is Everywhere!

Gaslighting is a brainwashing strategy perpetrated by highly manipulative narcissists who live secretly and undetected in our society.  Like child molesters seeking prey, gaslighters have a keen eye for spotting vulnerable personality types who are susceptible to their pretend altruism, affection and promises of protection.

Gaslighters achieve complete control by manipulating the environment so their victims identify with an overwhelming and incurable psychological problem, which they never had, or was only a minor affliction.  The result of implanting an illness or disorder, and rendering a person helpless over it, is unfathomable distress, insecurity and paranoia.  Worst are the feelings of despair and powerlessness.

Descending into an emotional world of hopelessness and isolation, the victim is manipulated into seeking protection and solace from the very person who orchestrated their incapacitation.

Gaslighting is everywhere: secretly lurking behind the locked doors of politicians, clergy members, husbands, wives and even parents.  Gaslighters feed off a person, people, or a society that is devoid of hope and full of anxiety.  Only with such vulnerable people can the gaslighter play out their enchanting but mercilessly heinous emotional crimes.

Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, CSAT
Clinical Care Consultants Owner
Advanced Clinical Trainers Owner
Psychotherapist, Author & Professional Trainer
Author of The Human Magnet Syndrome

Creator of “The Codependency Cure: Recovering from Self-Love Deficit Disorder” seminar (and upcoming book)

                         

Pseudo Narcissism / Kid in a Candy Store Phenomenon

 

Pseudo Narcissism / Kid in a Candy Store Phenomenon
Ross Rosenberg

Through SLDD recovery and the attainment of Self-Love Abundance, the SLA (Self-Love Abundant) is finally allowed and free to manifest the version of themselves – the person who they always should have been, but never knew existed.  A fitting analogy is a “kid a candy store.”

The excited and highly motivated SLA can get lost in the freedom of being their newly discovered happy and successful self.  This results in a feeling of euphoria, excitement, and unhampered enthusiasm.  Like a teenager trying on potential identities, this SLA will make plenty of mistakes, as the learning curve can be steep.  As much as they wanted the fruits of self-love and the accompanied to freedom to manifest into their true potential, they may over-do the enthusiasm.  In addition, they may make key social and interactional mistakes, because they have yet to learn the skill-set of unencumbered self-esteem (self-love) expressed in relationships or in public.

Hence, these excited SLA’s spike up the Continuum of Self toward higher “self” CSV (continuum of self-value).   Such a spike may appear  as narcissism, even Pathological Narcissism.  But it is not because the SLA can be aware of their narcissistic ways, feel badly/have empathy about it, and make necessary adjustments. And when necessary and appropriate, this “kid in a candy store” can take responsibility for their actions and make amends for them in real time.  There  is no experience or reaction of a narcissistic injury.

The SLA who loses themselves in their newfound experience/attainment of personal, emotional, and even financial wealth, may very well harm others and themselves, and not even know it.  It is therefore incumbent on these overly-excited and ambitious SLA newbies to become conscious of their narcissistic spikes, make efforts to catch them before they occur, spot them when they occur, and make amends to those who are accidentally harmed by them.

SInce the goal of healthy relationships is a well-balanced distribution of love, respect and care (LRC), it is imperative that “SLA freshman” get a chance to revel in their Self-Love Abundance, while also paying attention to how it may impact others.  Dialing down one’s excitement about a new life that is absent of core shame, pathological loneliness, the addictive pursuit of narcissists, and a relationships with similarly self-loving people, might not be easy.  But the effort to become disciplined and measured in the “candy store” will be well-worth the effort.

 

Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, CSAT
Clinical Care Consultants Owner
Advanced Clinical Trainers Owner
Psychotherapist, Author & Professional Trainer
Author of The Human Magnet Syndrome

Creator of “The Codependency Cure: Recovering from Self-Love Deficit Disorder” seminar (and upcoming book)

                         

 

 

 

The Eight Stage Self-Love Deficit Disorder (Codependency) Treatment Model. Rosenberg Codendency & Narcissism Expert

This  is the model that I  will be writing about in my upcoming book, The Codependency Cure: Recovering from Self-Love Deficit Disorder.

 

nine-stage-model-final-copy

 

Stage 1: Hitting Bottom (Introducing Hope)
Stage 2: Human Magnet Syndrome Education: Breaking Free from the “Dance”
Stage 3: Withdrawing from SLDD Addiction: Battling Pathological Loneliness
Stage 4: Setting Boundaries in A Hostile Environment. Courage and Commitment
Stage 5: Maintaining Safe and Secure Boundaries. Protection, Security and Self-Care
Stage 6: Resolving / Integrating Unconscious Trauma: Healing Attachment Trauma

Stage 7: Discovering Self-Love. Building an Internal Self-Love Foundation
Stage 8: Building an External Foundation of Self-Love. Achieving Self-Love Driven Relationships.
Stage 9: Shedding Self-Love Deficit Disorder. Becoming Self-Love Abundant

DON’T USE MY BOOK TO FIGHT A NARCISSIST! You Will Lose, I Promise.

 

Male hand holding a fake pistol with red flag isolated on white background.

DON’T USE MY BOOK TO FIGHT YOUR NARCISSIST!  You Will Lose, I Promise. 

Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, CSAT

I am so grateful to the many people who have told me that my book was life-changing.  Having such a positive impact on the human condition is my teenager “gonna change the world” dream come true.  I couldn’t be happier!

My book was written to inspire and motivate people to understand their part in the dysfunctional dance they have been irresistibly drawn into their whole life.  It WAS NOT written to be used as a defensive or offensive strategy in dealing with harmful pathological narcissists (PNarcs).

The “codependent” and “narcissistic” designations in The Human Magnet Syndrome were designed to identify a very serious personal and relational problem so the reader would be motivated to get help to disconnect from it.  The book was never intended to be used as a retaliatory weapon to be used by angry, vindictive and/or controlling codependents, or what I now refer to as individuals with Self-Love Deficit Disorder (SLDD).  Similarly, it wasn’t written to be used as a countermeasure against narcissistic harm.

The mere mentioning of my book to a PNarc is almost always counterproductive, as it will ALWAYS trigger a negative reaction, no matter how much you believe otherwise. I strongly suggest to never give a copy of my book to PNarc. Never! It will always trigger a narcissistic injury and set up a dysfunctional interaction, or dance, where the PNarc has complete control and the person with Self-Love Deficit Disorder does not.   If a PNarc learns of discovers or is told that their partner is reading my book, they react in one of two manners

  1. They exhibit various forms of vindictive and indignant rage, which compels them to openly intimidate, manipulate, and consequently sabotage their partners attempt at SLDD recovery.
  2. This is the more insidious and harmful reaction, that is common with Covert and Malignant Narcissists. In this scenario, the PNarc covertly executes a plan of sabotage and dis-empowerment, which may include gas lighting, mind-manipulation, and continued brainwashing.

The latter is more dangerous, as the PNarc is allowed to maintain their victim role, while manipulating their partner to believe that they have the problems, not them. In these cases, some of my clients, in the beginning of therapy, are convinced that they are the PNarc and their significant other the SLD. Believe it or not, a few of these client’s PNarc read my book, and then gave it to their partner with the continued brainwashing narrative that they are the “codependent” and their partner the “narcissist.”

 

Plain and simple, ANY SUGGESTION THAT THE NARCISSIST IS AT FAULT will elicit a narcissistic injury.  Giving them my book, or referring to it, while telling them you are SLD or codependent, is and will cause them to react in one of two ways.  One, they will project onto you that you are the narcissist and they the codependent; or, two, they will be triggered with a narcissistic injury, and subsequently rage against you for the comment or suggestion.  You will be the target of their unmitigated fury and vitriolic criticisms, and they will punish you.

The following excerpt from the Human Magnet Syndrome exemplifies the predictable negative response that PNarcs have to my work.

“According to their verbal and/or written feedback, they feel the seminar is offensive, ill-conceived, biased and even absurd. In particular, they are quite bothered by what they perceive as prejudice. These participants hear me say that codependents are the victims and emotional manipulators are the perpetrators of their dysfunctional relationships. Nothing could be further from the truth, as the training (and this book) specifically details how both the codependent and the emotional manipulator are equally willing magnets in their dysfunctional “dance.” The codependent’s tendency to find harmful partners and remain with them cannot and should not be blamed on emotional manipulators, or vice versa.

It would appear that the severe reactions from my audience are likely products of a narcissistic injury, which occurs when the narcissistic individual felt criticized, judged or defeated.’ 

‘Anger and defensiveness are the common reactions of a narcissistically-injured emotional manipulator, as they feel offended, degraded and/or humiliated when confronted about their wrongdoings.” (Rosenberg, 2013).

Depending on the PNarc’s sub-type or diagnosis, their narcissistically prompted rage will be either delivered directly (“in your face”) or passive aggressively/covertly, which is the common strategy by Covert Narcissists and Malignant Narcissists.  The covert and passive aggressive form of the narcissistic injury is more harmful than the reactions from the garden variety overt narcissists.  They deliver maximum damage to the triggering (activating) SLD because of the invisible, secretive and manipulative nature of their counter-attack.  Examples include triangulation of family, friends or co-workers, in order to promote their victim narrative.

Sadly, and ironically, the mere fact of fighting for what SLDs most want and need— unconditional love, respect and care (LRC)[i]—results in the loss of it. Once in a relationship with a PNarc, any attempts to control or coerce[ii] the narcissist into loving, respecting and caring for the SLD are quickly offset by a dizzying array of self-serving manipulative countermeasures.  These come in various forms, depending on your PNarc’s subtype.  Unfortunately, as long as codependents fight for LRC in a manner that renders them powerless and ineffectual, they are virtually guaranteed never to receive it.

I learned 22 years ago that setting boundaries, resolving conflict, and defending myself from a PNarc was a complicated and dangerous endeavor that left me feeling worse than I felt before the ordeal.  I was surprised to learn that my repeated and unsuccessful attempts to control my PNarc’s neglectful and harmful treatment were the primary interactional components of our relationship.  My behavior was so automatic and reflexive that I was completely oblivious to it.  Adding insult to injury, the only predictable outcome of my control compulsion was feelings of shame, loneliness, anxiety, and anger.

We must learn that PNarcs are never the primary problem.  Instead, it is a SLD’s distorted and delusional belief system that compels them to keep trying to change and control their PNarc partner, who has a great deal riding on not letting you succeed.  Despite ample evidence that SLDs can rarely effectively and consistently control their Pnarcs, they blindly continue.

In conclusion, please do not use my book or other works to wage a battle against your PNarc.  In the words of George Bernard Shaw, I beseech you to Observe and Don’t Absorb your PNarc into oblivion!

I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig.
You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it!
George Bernard

Ross Rosenberg is a licensed clinical professional counselor and professional trainer. He is the author of The Human Magnet Syndrome: Why We Love People Who Hurt Us. Contact him at info@advancedclinicaltrainers.com

Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, CSAT © 2016
Clinical Care Consultants Owner
Advanced Clinical Trainers Owner
Psychotherapist, Author & Professional Trainer
Author of The Human Magnet Syndrome: Why We Love People Who Hurt Us

                  

Poem: On Becoming a Rose: The Journey to Self-Love

self-love rosenbergON BECOMING A ROSE: THE JOURNEY TO SELF-LOVE 

Inspired by Anaïs Nin.  “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”

Breaking through to self-love
is the most difficult journey
for paralyzed and anxious
rose bud people,
whose roots are deeply
and inescapably implanted
in the inhospitable soil
of forgotten and discarded dreams.

The long winters of waiting
tires any rose bud
who has had a lifetime
of disappointing dreams
of not being able to open up,
to share their nectar of self-love.

The sun-drenched landscape
where happy and fulfilled roses
freely bask in golden rays of love
to share their delicious fragrance
remains the forbidden sad dreamscape
for many a frightened rose bud

Rose buds dream
of throwing caution to the wind,
risking predictable harm
and inevitable pain
for the moment of pure happiness
when hope and love
overtake the loneliness of safety

We all start off as a rose bud.
Perfect and pure,
filled with potential
to become a most beautiful, unique,
and remarkable flower.

Wounded roses
who were neither protected
nor nurtured,
know only to hunker down
in a safe bud state,
to weather unpredictable storms.

History has demonstrated
that decisions to open up,
to bloom,
have predictably been met
with the opposition of
gale force winds
and torrential storms.

There comes a time
when the courage to transform
into a beautiful rose,
the one we always were,
but didn’t know about,
overcomes our fearful vigilance
to avoid further harm.

The time is now,
to allow ourselves to understand,
finally,
that the fear of harm
brought more suffering and losses
than would have the rain, wind, and frost.

We need to bravely
be optimistic about the world,
about ourselves,
and decide to no longer settle
for loneliness infused safety.

Deciding to bloom
allows us to come to terms
and accept
our frightened rose bud life,
and why our parents
could and never would
tell us about our beautiful flower.

It is time to discard our life
as a lonely self-love deprived
and unrealized rose,
and bravely allow ourselves
to transform into the flower
we always have been.

As we vulnerably and carefully
come to full bloom,
stretch our arms out,
and connect with an unpredictable
but potentially loving world,
we will experience,
for the first time
the freedom of a flower.

Only at this time
will we finally understand
the cost of mistaking ourselves
for a rose bud,
and not the flower we always were.

The companion (to this poem) YouTube video

The “Golden Rule” of the Helping Professions. Moods Magazine Article by Ross Rosenberg

The “Golden Rule” of the Helping Professions.  Moods Magazine Article by Ross Rosenberg

View the article on Moods Magazine’s Website