Tag Archives: borderline abuse

Hitting Bottom: When The End Greets the Beginning (Poetry by Ross Rosenberg)

I wrote this twenty years ago, when I had hit what I thought was the bottom of my life.  The poem helped me put into words the trauma i had endured while in a relationship with a very abusive woman.  It served as a catalyst to understand and eventually heal the highly traumatic abuse I had endured.

Although the trauma of the relationship seemed to have ended, the impact of it was embedded in my psyche.  Writing the poem helped release some of this toxic energy welling up inside of me.  Writing  it also helped me create a clear boundary from where I was and where I needed to go.

 

When The End Greets the Beginning

The Fist clenched, balled tight
Waving high in the sky
Like a tattered flag of war
Firmly declaring the message of hard fought freedom

The Arm stretched higher than its length
Wanting to go even higher
But held back by its physical limitations
Desiring to support the rage of its neighbor hand

The Body tense with anxious exhilaration
Energized by the wave of spontaneous emotion
Reacting – wanting to release
Neither knowing nor understanding the electric energy

The Mind, racing with scenes of the past
Remembering the torrent of pain
Memories frozen in time – razor sharp
Unable to understand, but finally able to feel

The Heart embattled and tired
Once protected by walls made of carefully controlled rage
Cracking, crumbling, disintegrating under their own volition
Heralding the light to pass through

The Soul, confused and bewildered
Like the newborn’s terror at birth
Interpreting the beginning as the end of safety
But all the while willing to open his eyes and greet what lies ahead

Ross Rosenberg
9/22/97

Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, CSAT
Clinical Care Consultants Owner
Advanced Clinical Trainers Owner
Psychotherapist, Author & Professional Trainer
Author of The Human Magnet Syndrome

Creator of “The Codependency Cure: Recovering from Self-Love Deficit Disorder” seminar (and upcoming book)

SELF LOVE RECOVERY INSTITUTE                         

 

NO, I DON’T HATE “BORDERLINES.” What I Do and Why I Do It

NO, I DO NOT HATE “BORDERLINES” What I Do and Why I Do ItNO, I DON’T HATE “BORDERLINES”
What I Do and Why I Do It

Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed. LCPC, CADC, CSAT

My videos have raised the ire of some viewers who have taken pot-shots at my professional background, ethics and clinical skills about codependency and Borderline Personality Disorder. I have been accused by a small but vocal community of purposefully perpetuating myths and falsehoods about clinical disorders such as Borderline Personality Disorder.

Because I’m not an elected representative or spokesman for mental health in general, I have created video content imbued with my own voice and personal and professional experiences. Although it is my ambition to provide support, direction and advice to the victims of what some people are now calling Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome, I do not restrict my feelings of responsibility to one side over the other. Because I tend to take the position of right and wrong while doling out fair distribution of responsibility or blame to all sides, I have not walked the tightrope of political correctness. I am okay with this.

Although the victims of such narcissistic abuse, those with codependency, or what I now refer to as Self-Love Deficit Disorder (SLDD), complain that they are trapped in relationships where there is an absence of love, respect and care, they are also trapped in the same relationship that lacks self-love, self-respect and self-care. Consequently, I have worked hard to create helpful content that inspires my readers, viewers and clients to take an open look at their own responsibility in their perpetual attraction to pathological narcissists (The Human Magnet Syndrome).

As a recovering codependent and passionate mental health provider of services for SLD’s, I know that the only hope for full recovery is to heal the deeply seated psychological trauma that is directly responsible for our personal and relational dysfunctional patterns. I am hell-bent on creating content that provides direction and hope for those with SLD, who want to heal their personal insanity with all their heart and soul – their long-buried attachment trauma.

My perspective or frame of reference has always been with the victim SLD who finds themselves compulsively, if not addictively, in relationships with harmful narcissists who mercilessly hurt them when they attempt to set safe boundaries or behave with dignity and self-love. I make no bones about my lack of empathy or sympathy towards the pathological narcissistic partner who emotionally and relationally survives on the backs of the powerless SLD partner. Therefore, I keep creating as much content as possible to help those with SLD to overcome their paralyzing fear of living alone with their shallowly submerged feelings of self-loathing, core shame and excruciating pathological loneliness.

My ambition is to empower my SLD clients to take responsibility for their disorder while understanding they are also victims of it. I help them to muster the courage to move backwards on a journey to heal and resolve their long-forgotten childhood attachment trauma. It is as if I help them become their own paleontologist whose ambition it is to uncover their own trauma fossils that will explain what happened to them so many years ago when they were truly powerless and vulnerable. Putting the trauma fossils together allows them to understand their long-buried past while being able to construct a more accurate understanding of who they are in the present and what they can become in the future so they can move forward without fear of the past, present or future. In combination, my SLD work puts an end to the insane self-fulfilling prophesy of personal and relational doom.

My Human Magnet Syndrome book and video work has taught millions of people why they repeatedly and reflexively choose relationships with harmful people and remain in long-term relationships with them. Unfortunately, my work has been confused as a negative indictment against pathological narcissists. On the contrary, my work has never strayed from a focus of empowerment and support for those who are courageous enough to face the stark reality of their core shame, fear of loneliness and need to lie to themselves or self-medicate to hide from the reality of their own personal nightmare. It seems that those with SLD gravitate toward my work and the pathological narcissists cower from personal accountability.

I do not bash people with BPD or, for that matter, other pathological narcissists. But I do have a distinct point of view and a prejudice against those who harm others and who resist getting professional services for such harm. Let me be clear: I AM FOR people who want to get better, not hurt others, and take personal responsibility for their actions. I AM AGAINST abusive perpetrators who narcissistically justify their harmful behavior or blame it on the victims.

You will find that my work will not focus on the pathological narcissist’s faults, but rather with what is “wrong” or what compels the SLD to consistently fall in love with people who say they love them, but consistently fall prey to their narcissist’s deprivation, neglect and/or abuse. My life’s work is to lead SLD’s out of their self-perpetuating walk of shame and onto a path that includes self-love and the healing of the trauma that has kept them from holding onto it. After all, the antidote to Self-Love Deficit Disorder is self-love.

Rosenberg’s BPD Videos

Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, CSAT © 2015
Clinical Care Consultants Owner
Advanced Clinical Trainers Owner
Psychotherapist, Author & Professional Trainer
Author of The Human Magnet Syndrome: Why We Love People Who Hurt Us