Category Archives: codependency

Ross Rosenberg’s Media Kit – Professional Summary

TO VIEW ROSS ROSENBERG’S MEDIA KIT CLICK HERE

unified media kit 4-16-17

 

TEXT VERSION

ABOUT ROSS ROSENBERG, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, CSAT

Ross Rosenberg has been a psychotherapist since 1988. He is a distinguished international speaker, writer, trainer, consultant, and expert in the addiction/sex addiction codependency, narcissism, and trauma fields. He owns Clinical Care Consultants, a multi-location Chicago suburb counseling center, and Self-Love Recovery Institute, formerly Advanced Clinical Trainers.

Ross wrote the highly acclaimed and best-selling book “The Human Magnet Syndrome: Why We Love People Who Hurt Us,” which draws on his own codependency recovery and 29 years of experience in the mental health, social service, and child welfare fields.

Ross is an internationally renowned psychotherapist, speaker, and trainer, who has presented in 27 states and twice in Europe. Because of his YouTube channel, his work has gone globally viral. Of the more than 5.5 million total views, 4 million have been in the last two years. His current subscriber base is at 52,000 and is growing at 23K a year.

THE HUMAN MAGNET SYNDROME: WHY WE LOVE PEOPLE WHO HURT US
Ross’s “The Human Magnet Syndrome” is a game changer; it addresses a topic that affects everyone. Not only has it been published in English, French, and Spanish, it has sold over 40,000 copies. It reached number 1 and 2 in several Amazon best-selling categories and has remained in more than five best-selling categories since it was published in April of 2013.

Men and women always have been drawn into romantic relationships instinctively, not so much by what they see, feel, or think, but more by an invisible and irresistible force. Ross Rosenberg, a seasoned psychotherapist, international seminar leader, YouTube favorite, and recovering codependent, named this compelling and seductive love force – The Human Magnet Syndrome.

The Human Magnet Syndrome is about common, everyday relationships that many of us have experienced but wish we hadn’t. It explains why patient, giving, and selfless individuals (codependents) are predictably attracted to selfish, self-centered, and self-serving partners (pathological narcissists). “Chemistry,” or the intuitive knowingness of perfect compatibility, is synonymous with the Human Magnet Syndrome. This is the attraction force that brings compatibly opposite, but exquisitely matched, lovers together: codependents and pathological narcissists. This magnetic love connection predictably begins like a fairy-tale, but quickly morphs into a painful “seesaw” of love, hate, hope, and disappointment. At the end of the day, the codependent’s dreams of a soul mate invariably dissolve into a “cellmate” reality.

ENDORSEMENTS

“I recommend “The Human Magnet Syndrome” to those who work in social services, education, chemical dependency, or the counseling fields and to the people they touch. It’s time to wake up and this brilliant book sounds the alarm we need.” – Melody Beattie

“Born in the cauldron of personal experience of suffering and healing, and honed through years of professional experience, this book will help anyone understand the attractors of love and consequent suffering. I recommend it to couples who are mystified by the depth and repetition of their pain, and to therapists whose destiny is to help them.” – Harville Hendrix

MEDIA EXPOSURE

Ross’ work has been highlighted on various TV networks including ABC, Fox News and WGN News and he participated in a recent ABC/Hulu documentary about Internet dating. His work has appeared regularly in the Chicago Tribune & Publisher Weekly and he is a regular contributor for The Huffington Post, PsychCenteral.com, and TheGoodMenProject.com.

CODEPENDENCY CURE™ / SELF-LOVE DEFICIT DISORDER™ RECOVERY

“The Codependency Cure”™ is Rosenberg’s Human Magnet Syndrome work follow-up. Similar to his first book, he has created innovative theories, explanations, clinical models, and techniques of the problem that is responsible for the “Human Magnet Syndrome.”

“Self-Love Deficit Disorder (SLDD)”™ is the much-needed reformulation of the term “codependency.” It strips the antiquated and often misused word of its shaming connotations while providing a realistic description of the problem. As most people with SLDD will tell you, they would never be in harmful relationships with pathological narcissists if they had a stable sense of self-love.

The Observe Don’t Absorb Technique has captured the world by storm, as it (the video) has provided nearly 500K YouTube viewers a powerfully effective tool against narcissistic abuse.

ROSS’ TRAININGS/SEMINARS
Ross is an accomplished and expert trainer, seminar leader, and keynote presenter, renowned for his unique, break-through topics and charismatic training style. His work is equally appreciated by professionals and laymen. The training that inspired his book was presented in 27 states, 60 cities, and became a best-selling DVD training product. Ross created the company Self-Love Recovery Institute (formerly Advanced Clinical Trainers) as a platform for his training work where all his seminars are now available for purchase online.

ILLUSTRATING THE CODEPENDENCY CURE

Rosenberg’s SLDD and SLA pyramids represent the problem and the solution for “The Codependency Cure.” The SLDD pyramid represents the linear development of SLDD while demonstrating it as a symptom of much deeper and more fundamental problems. The Self-Love Abundance (SLA) Pyramid is the graphical representation of the “Codependency Cure.” The Self-Love Abundancy Pyramid is a mirror image (opposite) of the SLDD pyramid.
10 STAGES SELF-LOVE RECOVERY MODEL
The 10 Stage Self-Love Recovery Model represents the latest thinking and theoretical formulation on codependency, attachment, and addiction treatment. It is the backbone for “The Codependency Cure” and “Self-Love Deficit Disorder” material. Each stage represents a linear and sequential element of a treatment process (method) that permanently eradicates SLDD (codependency) while opening a healing and restorative pathway to “Self-Love Abundance,” otherwise known as Self-Love Recovery.
CERTIFICATION PROGRAM FOR THERAPISTS

The only way for Ross to resolve the conundrum of getting hundreds of requests a month for his psychotherapy services or for a referral to someone with his professional abilities, was to create “The Self-Love Recovery Certification (CSLR) Program.” His ambition is to create a world-wide CSLR practitioner network.
INTERNET, WEBSITE, EMAIL and SOCIAL NETWORKING REACH

The Codependency Cure and Self-Love Deficit Disorder concepts have captured the interest of thousands on his social networking platforms. Combining YouTube, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, and Instagram, Ross has accumulated over 75,000 connections. Ross has an email list of 11,000. He currently hosts 4 active websites: Clinical Care Consultants, Self-Love Recovery Institute, Human Magnet Syndrome in English and in Spanish. The English Human Magnet Syndrome website gets approximately 19,000 visits a month.

GLOBAL YOUTUBE CREATOR

Over the last four years, Ross’s 95 instructional and inspirational YouTube videos have been viewed over 5.5 million times. Not only has he accumulated over 52,000 subscribers, but 38% of them are from a foreign country (His HMS website has similar statistics). His top ten videos have been viewed 2.5 million times. His most viewed video has been viewed 480,000 times. It is not the amount of views or subscribers that define Ross’s global YouTube success, but the way he has helped millions of people to overcome the pain and suffering of narcissistic abuse and Self-Love Deficit Disorder.
ROSENBERG’S LINKS

His counseling center: http://goo.gl/uuWrwJ
Human Magnet Syndrome Book Site: http://www.HumanMagnetSyndrome.com
His training/education company: http://selfloverecovery.com
His articles: http://goo.gl/bTesnk
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheCodependencyCure/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/RossRosenberg1
YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/clinicalcareco¬¬nsult
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rossrosenberg_slri/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/clinicalcareconsultants
Blogs: http://humanmagnetsyndrome.com/blog-posts/   and http://blog.clinicalcareconsultants.com/

CONTACT

Ross Rosenberg, (847) 749-0514 ext. 120 or at Rossr61@comcast.net.

Available nationally and internationally by arrangement and via telephone.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwYCubcqk24

The Holy Church of the Gaslighter. Gaslighting is Everywhere! Webinar Video Excerpt

From my 4 hour seminar, “Gaslighting Is Everywhere.”
 

The Holy Church of the Gaslighter.  Gaslighting is Everywhere! Webinar Video  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwYCubcqk24

Gaslighting = Narcissist Glue
This is a 9 minute excerpt from Ross Rosenberg’s 4 hour video seminar entitled “Gaslighting Is Everywhere!” In this video Ross explains how and why gaslighters use “religion” to manipulate, brainwash and gaslight thier victims.

The complete seminar contains original content created by Ross Rosenberg. The 4-hour gaslighting training has a great deal of information. Below are the titles of each PowerPoint slide that specifically illustrate the content of the seminar

1. Gaslighting Definition
2. Gaslighting History
3. Gaslighting In Movies
4. Who Told the Tin Man He Didn’t Have A Heart?
5. Gaslighting and The Human Magnet Syndrome (My Book)
6. The “Perfect Storm” For Gaslighting
7. Gaslighters (GL’s) Deplete Resources/Wear Down the GLV (Gaslit Victim)
8. GL’s Create Dependency
9. GL’s Manipulate the Environment
10. Gaslighting Creates or Exacerbates:
11. Gaslighting Creates Real Medical/Psychiatric Disorders
12. Gaslighting Potentiates Co-Occurring Problems
13. Caught in The Gaslight Catch-22 Trap
14. The Duluth Power and Control Wheel And Gaslighting
15. The Secrecy Requirement
16. Gaslighting Distortions
17. Isolation
18. Inculcation of Narratives
19. Inculcation of Narratives
20. The “Original Self-Narrative”
21. The “Self-Narrative” – Our Story of Who We Are
22. The “Self-Relational Narrative”– Our Story of Our Value In A Relationship
23. The “Other’s Self-Narrative” – The Gaslit Story of Ourselves
24. The “Others Relational-Narrative” – The Gaslit Story of Our Relational Worth
25. The Self-Love Deficit Disorder SLDD (Codependency) Narrative
26. SLDD and Pathological Narcissists Are the Perfect “Dancing” Partners
27. Implanted, Supplanted, and Indoctrinated Narratives
28. Gaslighting Is Brainwashing!
29. Exponentiating The Narrative
30. Narratives Are the Stories That Define Us
31. Swapping the Photo On The Mirror Trick
32. Stockholm Syndrome
33. Orchestrating Fake Attempts at Helping
34. “Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte Syndrome”
35. Married to A Gaslighting Physician Vignette
36. Triangulation
37. The Circular Brainwashing Tactic
38. Sabotaging GLV’s Faith in Professional Abilities
39. Attacking the Accuser/Focus Shifting
40. The Invisible Fence/Shock Collar Phenomenon
41. Conditioned to Have No Hope
42. GLV’s Protect the GL’s Denial Systems
43. False IQ Comparisons
44. The Holy Church of The Gaslighter
45. GL’s Are Pathological Narcissists
46. Gaslighters Are Either ASPD, NPD, or BPD
47. ASPD Gaslighter
48. NPD Gaslighter
49. The Covert Narcissist Gaslighter
50. The Malignant Narcissist Gaslighter
51. The Borderline Personality Disordered (BPD) Gaslighter
52. Attachment Trauma Pre-Grooms GLV’s
53. Gaslighters Are Like Pedophile Child Molesters
54. Societal Gaslighting
55. Political Gaslighting A-Z Recipe
56. Implant These 26 (Beliefs) & Secure Your Election!
57. Came Up The Hard Way
58. I’m A Victim Just Like You
59. I Am Altruistic And Empathetic Because I Said So
60. I’m Just Like You (Look At My Family Photos)
61. Legitimacy Through Fame
62. Everyone Changes (Chameleon)
63. You Manipulated My Statements (My Lies Are Your Fault)
64. You Must Be Hearing Impaired (I Never Said That)
65. We Are Powerless (When We Are Not)
66. My Opposition Is Your Enemy
67. Anyone Who Is on Our Side Is A Patriot
68. Blame the Country’s Ills on The Opponent
69. Shift Responsibility to Another Country
70. Blame the Victim (They Did It to Themselves)
71. Our Enemy Is Ruthless, Wicked, and Evil
72. Our Enemy Is a Compulsive Liar
73. We Must Hold the Enemy Accountable (Punish The Enemy)
74. Facts That Hurt Me Are Fake News
75. I Have Secret Connections to The Truth
76. Science Is Flawed (Neutralizing Facts)
77. Stealing Is Sometimes Good (Robin Hood)
78. Build A Wall (Isolationism)
79. Immigrants/Foreigners Will Hurt Us
80. Turn Lemonade into Lemons (Lie About Progress)
81. Protectionism (We Are Being Ripped Off)
82. We Don’t Kowtow to Bullies (Justify A War)

On Surviving the Potholes of Self-Love Deficit Disorder Recovery

 

On our healing journey, sometimes we hit potholes in the road. Such surprises may cause us to temporarily lose control of our “vehicle.”  In an adrenaline filled moment of terror, we contemplate the end. Because of our newfound healing instinct, we tightly grab hold of the “wheel” and muscle our car back on to the road. This is when we steer our fate back to self-love
Worry not; you are moving in the right direction! Hold tight onto your courage, as the road to self-love abundance is fraught with risk. When you do arrive, and you will, you will realize that no destination as sweet as this can ever be achieved on a road free of obstacles and dangers. Therefore, self-love is not only the antidote to your driving dilemma, it’s also the destination you have always deserved.

Ross Rosenberg

 

Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, CSAT
Clinical Care Consultants Owner
Self-Love Recovery Institute Owner
Psychotherapist, Author & Professional Trainer
Author of The Human Magnet Syndrome

Creator of “The Codependency Cure: Recovering from Self-Love Deficit Disorder” seminar (and upcoming book)

SELF LOVE RECOVERY INSTITUTE                         

When Selfish Is Actually Self-Love.

 

WHEN “SELFISH” IS REALLY GOOD

It is GOOD for SLD’s (Self-Love Deficients or codependents) to be selfish. It is like learning to ride a bike. Doing something for yourself and not caring what people think is a dangerous proposition.  “Selfish,” therefore is good.

The problem is the voices in your head have been lying to you; telling you that you are being bad, when you are just trying not to drown anymore.These voices have never been yours. Rather, they are covertly implanted narratives that were designed to confuse you, turn you against yourself, and break you down. It is time to break the gaslighting spell and regain the true voice in your head…your own! Fall a few times, brush off the pain, and get back on the “bike.”

Learning to love yourself will frighten people, who have only one way to get you to quit the nonsense of SLDD (Self-Love Deficit Disorder or codependency) recovery. They will call you a “narcissist” and try to make you feel ashamed and guilty for your moments of self-care. Scoff at the projection, this is more about them than you. Ride your bike all the way out of their life!

 

Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, CSAT
Clinical Care Consultants Owner
Self-Love Recovery Institute Owner
Psychotherapist, Author & Professional Trainer
Author of The Human Magnet Syndrome

Creator of “The Codependency Cure: Recovering from Self-Love Deficit Disorder” seminar (and upcoming book)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Codependency Anorexia: Are You Starving Yourself from Love?

Codependency Anorexia

Codependency Anorexia is a logical solution for people with Self-Love Deficit Disorder™ (SLDD) who are hopelessly addicted to dangerously attractive narcissists.  As a last-ditch protective strategy, the desperate codependent (SLD™) shuts down their innate and natural impulse to fall in love, thereby rendering them safe, but disassociated relational robots.  Although intimacy starvation provides a sense of power and control over real and invisible threats, it adds another of many layers of shame & loneliness to their SLDD.

It is paradoxical in a sense, as it occurs during a moment of clarity when the only obvious choice is to freeze one’s natural “love impulse,” which has, up until this time, consistently blown up in their face.  If the codependency anorexic barrier is challenged, an alarm of extreme anxiety is sounded, which does not stop until the threat has been neutralized.   At the end of the day, the codependent anorexic is safe from harm, but the cost is extraordinarily high!  Safety, without the experience of self-love and the healthy love of others, is no different from being jailed for a crime that was never committed.

Based on the Ross Rosenberg article featured here

Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, CSAT
Clinical Care Consultants Owner
Self-Love Recovery Institute Owner
Psychotherapist, Author & Professional Trainer
Author of The Human Magnet Syndrome

Creator of “The Codependency Cure: Recovering from Self-Love Deficit Disorder” seminar (and upcoming book)

SELF LOVE RECOVERY INSTITUTE                         

 

Hitting Bottom: When The End Greets the Beginning (Poetry by Ross Rosenberg)

I wrote this twenty years ago, when I had hit what I thought was the bottom of my life.  The poem helped me put into words the trauma i had endured while in a relationship with a very abusive woman.  It served as a catalyst to understand and eventually heal the highly traumatic abuse I had endured.

Although the trauma of the relationship seemed to have ended, the impact of it was embedded in my psyche.  Writing the poem helped release some of this toxic energy welling up inside of me.  Writing  it also helped me create a clear boundary from where I was and where I needed to go.

 

When The End Greets the Beginning

The Fist clenched, balled tight
Waving high in the sky
Like a tattered flag of war
Firmly declaring the message of hard fought freedom

The Arm stretched higher than its length
Wanting to go even higher
But held back by its physical limitations
Desiring to support the rage of its neighbor hand

The Body tense with anxious exhilaration
Energized by the wave of spontaneous emotion
Reacting – wanting to release
Neither knowing nor understanding the electric energy

The Mind, racing with scenes of the past
Remembering the torrent of pain
Memories frozen in time – razor sharp
Unable to understand, but finally able to feel

The Heart embattled and tired
Once protected by walls made of carefully controlled rage
Cracking, crumbling, disintegrating under their own volition
Heralding the light to pass through

The Soul, confused and bewildered
Like the newborn’s terror at birth
Interpreting the beginning as the end of safety
But all the while willing to open his eyes and greet what lies ahead

Ross Rosenberg
9/22/97

Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, CSAT
Clinical Care Consultants Owner
Advanced Clinical Trainers Owner
Psychotherapist, Author & Professional Trainer
Author of The Human Magnet Syndrome

Creator of “The Codependency Cure: Recovering from Self-Love Deficit Disorder” seminar (and upcoming book)

SELF LOVE RECOVERY INSTITUTE                         

 

Gaslighting Is Everywhere!

For more information  about the webinar, click HERE.  

To register for the webinar or to purchase the video click HERE.

Gaslighting Is Everywhere!

Gaslighting is a brainwashing strategy perpetrated by highly manipulative narcissists who live secretly and undetected in our society.  Like child molesters seeking prey, gaslighters have a keen eye for spotting vulnerable personality types who are susceptible to their pretend altruism, affection and promises of protection.

Gaslighters achieve complete control by manipulating the environment so their victims identify with an overwhelming and incurable psychological problem, which they never had, or was only a minor affliction.  The result of implanting an illness or disorder, and rendering a person helpless over it, is unfathomable distress, insecurity and paranoia.  Worst are the feelings of despair and powerlessness.

Descending into an emotional world of hopelessness and isolation, the victim is manipulated into seeking protection and solace from the very person who orchestrated their incapacitation.

Gaslighting is everywhere: secretly lurking behind the locked doors of politicians, clergy members, husbands, wives and even parents.  Gaslighters feed off a person, people, or a society that is devoid of hope and full of anxiety.  Only with such vulnerable people can the gaslighter play out their enchanting but mercilessly heinous emotional crimes.

Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, CSAT
Clinical Care Consultants Owner
Advanced Clinical Trainers Owner
Psychotherapist, Author & Professional Trainer
Author of The Human Magnet Syndrome

Creator of “The Codependency Cure: Recovering from Self-Love Deficit Disorder” seminar (and upcoming book)

                         

Pseudo Narcissism / Kid in a Candy Store Phenomenon

 

Pseudo Narcissism / Kid in a Candy Store Phenomenon
Ross Rosenberg

Through SLDD recovery and the attainment of Self-Love Abundance, the SLA (Self-Love Abundant) is finally allowed and free to manifest the version of themselves – the person who they always should have been, but never knew existed.  A fitting analogy is a “kid a candy store.”

The excited and highly motivated SLA can get lost in the freedom of being their newly discovered happy and successful self.  This results in a feeling of euphoria, excitement, and unhampered enthusiasm.  Like a teenager trying on potential identities, this SLA will make plenty of mistakes, as the learning curve can be steep.  As much as they wanted the fruits of self-love and the accompanied to freedom to manifest into their true potential, they may over-do the enthusiasm.  In addition, they may make key social and interactional mistakes, because they have yet to learn the skill-set of unencumbered self-esteem (self-love) expressed in relationships or in public.

Hence, these excited SLA’s spike up the Continuum of Self toward higher “self” CSV (continuum of self-value).   Such a spike may appear  as narcissism, even Pathological Narcissism.  But it is not because the SLA can be aware of their narcissistic ways, feel badly/have empathy about it, and make necessary adjustments. And when necessary and appropriate, this “kid in a candy store” can take responsibility for their actions and make amends for them in real time.  There  is no experience or reaction of a narcissistic injury.

The SLA who loses themselves in their newfound experience/attainment of personal, emotional, and even financial wealth, may very well harm others and themselves, and not even know it.  It is therefore incumbent on these overly-excited and ambitious SLA newbies to become conscious of their narcissistic spikes, make efforts to catch them before they occur, spot them when they occur, and make amends to those who are accidentally harmed by them.

SInce the goal of healthy relationships is a well-balanced distribution of love, respect and care (LRC), it is imperative that “SLA freshman” get a chance to revel in their Self-Love Abundance, while also paying attention to how it may impact others.  Dialing down one’s excitement about a new life that is absent of core shame, pathological loneliness, the addictive pursuit of narcissists, and a relationships with similarly self-loving people, might not be easy.  But the effort to become disciplined and measured in the “candy store” will be well-worth the effort.

 

Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, CSAT
Clinical Care Consultants Owner
Advanced Clinical Trainers Owner
Psychotherapist, Author & Professional Trainer
Author of The Human Magnet Syndrome

Creator of “The Codependency Cure: Recovering from Self-Love Deficit Disorder” seminar (and upcoming book)

                         

 

 

 

Love Yourself Like You Always Wanted Others to Love You. Self-Love Abundance & The Codependency Cure

Happy young casual woman hugging herself with natural emotional enjoying face. Love concept by yourself

“Achieving Self-Love Abundance (SLA) requires you to treat yourself like you long for others to treat you. SLA mandates that you love yourself unconditionally, like you were not, for far too long in your life. Its time to create a best friend in yourself.”   (c) Ross Rosenberg, 2016

For more information about Self-Love Deficit Disorder and Self-Love Abundance concepts, visit www.AdvancedClinicalTrainers.com.  The six hour video seminar, “The Codependency Cure: Recovering from Self-Love Deficit Disorder may be helpful.

For codependency or Self-Love Deficit Disorder psychotherapy / counseling services, visit Clinical Care Consultants (CCC) website.  www.ClinicalCareConsultants.com.  CCC is a specialty drive counseling center, which has three psychotherapists who are trained and supervised by me in my Codependency Cure/Self-Love Deficit Disorder treatment methods.   It’s two offices are in Arlington Heights and Inverness IL.  It serves the Palatine, Buffalo Grove, Wheeling, Schaumburg, Hoffman Estates, Mount Prospect communities.

Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, CSAT
Clinical Care Consultants Owner
Advanced Clinical Trainers Owner
Psychotherapist, Author & Professional Trainer
Author of The Human Magnet Syndrome

Creator of “The Codependency Cure: Recovering from Self-Love Deficit Disorder” seminar (and upcoming book)

                         

 

 

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SMILING SKELETONS POEM by Ross Rosenberg. Healing from Childhood Trauma. Letting Go of the Past.

 

This poem reflects a latter portion of a healing process that many codependents, or those with Self-Love Deficit Disorder, choose to take. It illustrates the very important psychological milestone when a Codependent or SLD (Self-Love Deficient) is ready to face-down their consciously forgotten childhood trauma (repressed memories),  in order to accept the sad and lonely power it has always had over their Self-Love Deficit Disorder.  Embracing the trauma memories, sorting them out, and accepting them as one’s unfortunate but immutable history, is a crucially important and necessary milestone in one’s SLDD, recovery.  It paves way for the eventual transition from SLDD to SLA – Self-Love Abundance – “The Codependency Cure.”

 

skeleton-thumbsup-copy

SMILING SKELETONS
By Ross Rosenberg

Strolling dreamily down
a familiar street
in the direction
of places long forgotten,
I was obliviously drawn
To my childhood home.

The houses painted anew
with unfamiliar
over-grown trees,
could not hide
the memory-stained streets
of happily playing children
who never thought about
lonely shadowy figures
deprived of sweet
summertime frolic.

Like a magnet,
I was irresistibly pulled
in the direction
of my home,
where lost days,
weeks and years,
were anonymously recorded
on a calendar
that no one ever saw.

Until that day,
I had been too afraid
to revisit the rooms
long closed to me,
where broken toys
and missing game parts
were carelessly strewn
on the ruby red
matted shag rug
of my youth.

In the farthest reaches
of my lonely drenched bedroom,
the closet beckoned me
To enter its dark and cluttered domain,
to sift through
flash-frozen
aching memories
of an emotionally abandoned boy.

Among the stowed away
remnants of my youth
sat clattery boned skeletons –
“closet skeletons,”
who rejoiced at the opportunity
to dance in the light of recollection,
and finally end
their long winter of slumber.

Memories of the loosely connected parts
of the lost child
I used to be,
enervated my skeleton friends,
who frenetically discharged
the repressed electric energy
of the frightening
but dark and dreary
memories of yesteryear.

The battle between
wanting to run
or stay put,
to recover the truth –
the accurate narrative
of my youth –
compelled me to remain
just long enough
to survey the darkly lit
container of my youth.

With eyes wide open,
courageous but anxious,
I fixed my gaze
on my bony friend’s shadowy,
but kindly countenance,
and for the first time
I decided,
I am strong enough
to be vulnerable,
so that I can finally remember
my lonely-boy-self,
and absorb the unthinkable
memories of my youth.

It is time to let go.
Bid farewell
to my skeleton friends.
Seal shut
the closet of my youth
and return home,
and live gratefully in the present.

I have spent a lifetime
afraid of dark specters
residing in my closet.
Now is the time
to meld the past and the present,
into a representation
of the person I always wanted to be.
It is the right time
to release the phantom pull backwards,
while gently grasping the hand
of the beautiful present moment,
that pulls me increasingly closer
to where my self-love lies.

Ross Rosenberg
10/1/2016

smiling-skeletons-pic

Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, CSAT
Clinical Care Consultants Owner
Advanced Clinical Trainers Owner
Psychotherapist, Author & Professional Trainer
Author of The Human Magnet Syndrome

Creator of “The Codependency Cure: Recovering from Self-Love Deficit Disorder” seminar (and upcoming book)