Category Archives: Codependency Cure Book

Ross Rosenberg’s Media Kit – Professional Summary

TO VIEW ROSS ROSENBERG’S MEDIA KIT CLICK HERE

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TEXT VERSION

ABOUT ROSS ROSENBERG, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, CSAT

Ross Rosenberg has been a psychotherapist since 1988. He is a distinguished international speaker, writer, trainer, consultant, and expert in the addiction/sex addiction codependency, narcissism, and trauma fields. He owns Clinical Care Consultants, a multi-location Chicago suburb counseling center, and Self-Love Recovery Institute, formerly Advanced Clinical Trainers.

Ross wrote the highly acclaimed and best-selling book “The Human Magnet Syndrome: Why We Love People Who Hurt Us,” which draws on his own codependency recovery and 29 years of experience in the mental health, social service, and child welfare fields.

Ross is an internationally renowned psychotherapist, speaker, and trainer, who has presented in 27 states and twice in Europe. Because of his YouTube channel, his work has gone globally viral. Of the more than 5.5 million total views, 4 million have been in the last two years. His current subscriber base is at 52,000 and is growing at 23K a year.

THE HUMAN MAGNET SYNDROME: WHY WE LOVE PEOPLE WHO HURT US
Ross’s “The Human Magnet Syndrome” is a game changer; it addresses a topic that affects everyone. Not only has it been published in English, French, and Spanish, it has sold over 40,000 copies. It reached number 1 and 2 in several Amazon best-selling categories and has remained in more than five best-selling categories since it was published in April of 2013.

Men and women always have been drawn into romantic relationships instinctively, not so much by what they see, feel, or think, but more by an invisible and irresistible force. Ross Rosenberg, a seasoned psychotherapist, international seminar leader, YouTube favorite, and recovering codependent, named this compelling and seductive love force – The Human Magnet Syndrome.

The Human Magnet Syndrome is about common, everyday relationships that many of us have experienced but wish we hadn’t. It explains why patient, giving, and selfless individuals (codependents) are predictably attracted to selfish, self-centered, and self-serving partners (pathological narcissists). “Chemistry,” or the intuitive knowingness of perfect compatibility, is synonymous with the Human Magnet Syndrome. This is the attraction force that brings compatibly opposite, but exquisitely matched, lovers together: codependents and pathological narcissists. This magnetic love connection predictably begins like a fairy-tale, but quickly morphs into a painful “seesaw” of love, hate, hope, and disappointment. At the end of the day, the codependent’s dreams of a soul mate invariably dissolve into a “cellmate” reality.

ENDORSEMENTS

“I recommend “The Human Magnet Syndrome” to those who work in social services, education, chemical dependency, or the counseling fields and to the people they touch. It’s time to wake up and this brilliant book sounds the alarm we need.” – Melody Beattie

“Born in the cauldron of personal experience of suffering and healing, and honed through years of professional experience, this book will help anyone understand the attractors of love and consequent suffering. I recommend it to couples who are mystified by the depth and repetition of their pain, and to therapists whose destiny is to help them.” – Harville Hendrix

MEDIA EXPOSURE

Ross’ work has been highlighted on various TV networks including ABC, Fox News and WGN News and he participated in a recent ABC/Hulu documentary about Internet dating. His work has appeared regularly in the Chicago Tribune & Publisher Weekly and he is a regular contributor for The Huffington Post, PsychCenteral.com, and TheGoodMenProject.com.

CODEPENDENCY CURE™ / SELF-LOVE DEFICIT DISORDER™ RECOVERY

“The Codependency Cure”™ is Rosenberg’s Human Magnet Syndrome work follow-up. Similar to his first book, he has created innovative theories, explanations, clinical models, and techniques of the problem that is responsible for the “Human Magnet Syndrome.”

“Self-Love Deficit Disorder (SLDD)”™ is the much-needed reformulation of the term “codependency.” It strips the antiquated and often misused word of its shaming connotations while providing a realistic description of the problem. As most people with SLDD will tell you, they would never be in harmful relationships with pathological narcissists if they had a stable sense of self-love.

The Observe Don’t Absorb Technique has captured the world by storm, as it (the video) has provided nearly 500K YouTube viewers a powerfully effective tool against narcissistic abuse.

ROSS’ TRAININGS/SEMINARS
Ross is an accomplished and expert trainer, seminar leader, and keynote presenter, renowned for his unique, break-through topics and charismatic training style. His work is equally appreciated by professionals and laymen. The training that inspired his book was presented in 27 states, 60 cities, and became a best-selling DVD training product. Ross created the company Self-Love Recovery Institute (formerly Advanced Clinical Trainers) as a platform for his training work where all his seminars are now available for purchase online.

ILLUSTRATING THE CODEPENDENCY CURE

Rosenberg’s SLDD and SLA pyramids represent the problem and the solution for “The Codependency Cure.” The SLDD pyramid represents the linear development of SLDD while demonstrating it as a symptom of much deeper and more fundamental problems. The Self-Love Abundance (SLA) Pyramid is the graphical representation of the “Codependency Cure.” The Self-Love Abundancy Pyramid is a mirror image (opposite) of the SLDD pyramid.
10 STAGES SELF-LOVE RECOVERY MODEL
The 10 Stage Self-Love Recovery Model represents the latest thinking and theoretical formulation on codependency, attachment, and addiction treatment. It is the backbone for “The Codependency Cure” and “Self-Love Deficit Disorder” material. Each stage represents a linear and sequential element of a treatment process (method) that permanently eradicates SLDD (codependency) while opening a healing and restorative pathway to “Self-Love Abundance,” otherwise known as Self-Love Recovery.
CERTIFICATION PROGRAM FOR THERAPISTS

The only way for Ross to resolve the conundrum of getting hundreds of requests a month for his psychotherapy services or for a referral to someone with his professional abilities, was to create “The Self-Love Recovery Certification (CSLR) Program.” His ambition is to create a world-wide CSLR practitioner network.
INTERNET, WEBSITE, EMAIL and SOCIAL NETWORKING REACH

The Codependency Cure and Self-Love Deficit Disorder concepts have captured the interest of thousands on his social networking platforms. Combining YouTube, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, and Instagram, Ross has accumulated over 75,000 connections. Ross has an email list of 11,000. He currently hosts 4 active websites: Clinical Care Consultants, Self-Love Recovery Institute, Human Magnet Syndrome in English and in Spanish. The English Human Magnet Syndrome website gets approximately 19,000 visits a month.

GLOBAL YOUTUBE CREATOR

Over the last four years, Ross’s 95 instructional and inspirational YouTube videos have been viewed over 5.5 million times. Not only has he accumulated over 52,000 subscribers, but 38% of them are from a foreign country (His HMS website has similar statistics). His top ten videos have been viewed 2.5 million times. His most viewed video has been viewed 480,000 times. It is not the amount of views or subscribers that define Ross’s global YouTube success, but the way he has helped millions of people to overcome the pain and suffering of narcissistic abuse and Self-Love Deficit Disorder.
ROSENBERG’S LINKS

His counseling center: http://goo.gl/uuWrwJ
Human Magnet Syndrome Book Site: http://www.HumanMagnetSyndrome.com
His training/education company: http://selfloverecovery.com
His articles: http://goo.gl/bTesnk
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheCodependencyCure/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/RossRosenberg1
YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/clinicalcareco¬¬nsult
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rossrosenberg_slri/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/clinicalcareconsultants
Blogs: http://humanmagnetsyndrome.com/blog-posts/   and http://blog.clinicalcareconsultants.com/

CONTACT

Ross Rosenberg, (847) 749-0514 ext. 120 or at Rossr61@comcast.net.

Available nationally and internationally by arrangement and via telephone.

When Selfish Is Actually Self-Love.

 

WHEN “SELFISH” IS REALLY GOOD

It is GOOD for SLD’s (Self-Love Deficients or codependents) to be selfish. It is like learning to ride a bike. Doing something for yourself and not caring what people think is a dangerous proposition.  “Selfish,” therefore is good.

The problem is the voices in your head have been lying to you; telling you that you are being bad, when you are just trying not to drown anymore.These voices have never been yours. Rather, they are covertly implanted narratives that were designed to confuse you, turn you against yourself, and break you down. It is time to break the gaslighting spell and regain the true voice in your head…your own! Fall a few times, brush off the pain, and get back on the “bike.”

Learning to love yourself will frighten people, who have only one way to get you to quit the nonsense of SLDD (Self-Love Deficit Disorder or codependency) recovery. They will call you a “narcissist” and try to make you feel ashamed and guilty for your moments of self-care. Scoff at the projection, this is more about them than you. Ride your bike all the way out of their life!

 

Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, CSAT
Clinical Care Consultants Owner
Self-Love Recovery Institute Owner
Psychotherapist, Author & Professional Trainer
Author of The Human Magnet Syndrome

Creator of “The Codependency Cure: Recovering from Self-Love Deficit Disorder” seminar (and upcoming book)

 

 

 

 

 

 

SMILING SKELETONS POEM by Ross Rosenberg. Healing from Childhood Trauma. Letting Go of the Past.

 

This poem reflects a latter portion of a healing process that many codependents, or those with Self-Love Deficit Disorder, choose to take. It illustrates the very important psychological milestone when a Codependent or SLD (Self-Love Deficient) is ready to face-down their consciously forgotten childhood trauma (repressed memories),  in order to accept the sad and lonely power it has always had over their Self-Love Deficit Disorder.  Embracing the trauma memories, sorting them out, and accepting them as one’s unfortunate but immutable history, is a crucially important and necessary milestone in one’s SLDD, recovery.  It paves way for the eventual transition from SLDD to SLA – Self-Love Abundance – “The Codependency Cure.”

 

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SMILING SKELETONS
By Ross Rosenberg

Strolling dreamily down
a familiar street
in the direction
of places long forgotten,
I was obliviously drawn
To my childhood home.

The houses painted anew
with unfamiliar
over-grown trees,
could not hide
the memory-stained streets
of happily playing children
who never thought about
lonely shadowy figures
deprived of sweet
summertime frolic.

Like a magnet,
I was irresistibly pulled
in the direction
of my home,
where lost days,
weeks and years,
were anonymously recorded
on a calendar
that no one ever saw.

Until that day,
I had been too afraid
to revisit the rooms
long closed to me,
where broken toys
and missing game parts
were carelessly strewn
on the ruby red
matted shag rug
of my youth.

In the farthest reaches
of my lonely drenched bedroom,
the closet beckoned me
To enter its dark and cluttered domain,
to sift through
flash-frozen
aching memories
of an emotionally abandoned boy.

Among the stowed away
remnants of my youth
sat clattery boned skeletons –
“closet skeletons,”
who rejoiced at the opportunity
to dance in the light of recollection,
and finally end
their long winter of slumber.

Memories of the loosely connected parts
of the lost child
I used to be,
enervated my skeleton friends,
who frenetically discharged
the repressed electric energy
of the frightening
but dark and dreary
memories of yesteryear.

The battle between
wanting to run
or stay put,
to recover the truth –
the accurate narrative
of my youth –
compelled me to remain
just long enough
to survey the darkly lit
container of my youth.

With eyes wide open,
courageous but anxious,
I fixed my gaze
on my bony friend’s shadowy,
but kindly countenance,
and for the first time
I decided,
I am strong enough
to be vulnerable,
so that I can finally remember
my lonely-boy-self,
and absorb the unthinkable
memories of my youth.

It is time to let go.
Bid farewell
to my skeleton friends.
Seal shut
the closet of my youth
and return home,
and live gratefully in the present.

I have spent a lifetime
afraid of dark specters
residing in my closet.
Now is the time
to meld the past and the present,
into a representation
of the person I always wanted to be.
It is the right time
to release the phantom pull backwards,
while gently grasping the hand
of the beautiful present moment,
that pulls me increasingly closer
to where my self-love lies.

Ross Rosenberg
10/1/2016

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Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, CSAT
Clinical Care Consultants Owner
Advanced Clinical Trainers Owner
Psychotherapist, Author & Professional Trainer
Author of The Human Magnet Syndrome

Creator of “The Codependency Cure: Recovering from Self-Love Deficit Disorder” seminar (and upcoming book)

 

 

 

The Eight Stage Self-Love Deficit Disorder (Codependency) Treatment Model. Rosenberg Codendency & Narcissism Expert

This  is the model that I  will be writing about in my upcoming book, The Codependency Cure: Recovering from Self-Love Deficit Disorder.

 

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Stage 1: Hitting Bottom (Introducing Hope)
Stage 2: Human Magnet Syndrome Education: Breaking Free from the “Dance”
Stage 3: Withdrawing from SLDD Addiction: Battling Pathological Loneliness
Stage 4: Setting Boundaries in A Hostile Environment. Courage and Commitment
Stage 5: Maintaining Safe and Secure Boundaries. Protection, Security and Self-Care
Stage 6: Resolving / Integrating Unconscious Trauma: Healing Attachment Trauma

Stage 7: Discovering Self-Love. Building an Internal Self-Love Foundation
Stage 8: Building an External Foundation of Self-Love. Achieving Self-Love Driven Relationships.
Stage 9: Shedding Self-Love Deficit Disorder. Becoming Self-Love Abundant

Excerpts from The Codependency Cure: Recovering from Self-Love Deficit Disorder Book Proposal

Excerpts from The Codependency Cure: Recovering from Self-Love Deficit Disorder Book Proposal

Chapter 3: “CODEPENDENCY” NO MORE – THE SELF LOVE DEFICIT DISORDER STORY

Discovery Phase V – Core Shame Pathological Loneliness
At age 43, about two years after my humiliating second divorce, my life spiraled out of control and seemed be irrevocably reduced to shambles. My success driven self, the one that kept winning races because of the blinders he had on, could no longer carry the day. Like an old battered row boat with one too many holes in it, I took on more water than I could frantically bail out. No matter how much I tried, dragging on life’s rocky bottom, made it impossible to keep the “good” Ross afloat. As rapidly as one part of me was sinking, another part was rising upwards, seeking the light of day.

To my great dismay, from the murky depths of my unconscious mind, arose my emotional nemesis – core shame. This wasn’t the first time we met, as “he” had repeatedly and unremittingly tapped me on the shoulder back in my exquisitely sad, lonely teenage years. In an effort to stop the throbbing loneliness he caused, I almost self-medicated myself into oblivion. Twenty-eight years later, I was back to my self-medicating ways, trying to anesthetize myself from the ever-present reminders that I was essentially broken, worthless and unlovable. “Bottoming out” at age 44 served as a wake-up call, when I decided to awake from my self-medicated slumber and got myself back into therapy. This time around, I would not stop, until I could permanently eradicate my shame core, that part of me that kept leading me into the arms of a pathological narcissist.

Proposed Table of Contents

Dedication
Acknowledgments
Forward: Another author will write?
Introduction: The Journey to Self-Love: Breaking Free to Recovery
Chapter 1: “Magnets” and “Cures:” The New Codependency Landscape
Chapter 2: Codependency, Narcissism, And The Human Magnet Syndrome
Chapter 3: “Codependency” No More – The Self-Love Deficit Disorder Story
Chapter 4: Paleopsychotherapy: Uncovering Trauma Fossils
Chapter 5: Codependency Addiction: “Hooked” on Your Narcissist
Chapter 6: Organizing The “Codependency Cure.” A Six Stage Recovery Model
Chapter 7: Hitting Bottom – From The Ashes the Phoenix Does Rise”
Chapter 8: Stop Wrestling with “Pigs!” The Observe Don’t Absorb Technique
Chapter 9: Finding Your Voice: Setting Boundaries in A Hostile Environment
Chapter 10: Maintaining Safe & Secure Boundaries
Chapter 11: Healing the Wounded Child Technique
Chapter 12: Discovering Self-Love: Building A Self-Love Foundation
Chapter 13: Relationship Math: The Addition of Two Self-Loving Individuals
Chapter 14: Reaching Self-Love Abundancy – The Codependency Cure
Conclusion
Bibliography

CHAPTER 6: ORGANIZING THE “CODEPENDENCY CURE.” A Six Stage Recovery Model

The Inevitable “How To” Question
It seemed every time I talked about the Human Magnet Syndrome (HMS)—in seminars, YouTube videos, blogs, articles, and of course, in my book—I was repeatedly besieged by the same emphatic question: “When will you tell us how to solve the problem?” Even with the epiphanies and watershed moments that the HMS material made possible, these same people were still mired waist-deep in the muddy swamp of a lifetime of codependent pain.

Naturally, the HMS’s explanation for why they repeatedly mistook harmful Pnarcs for loving life-partners was helpful, but it wasn’t enough. It helped them identify and understand their destructive self-sabotaging tendencies, but they also craved guidance on how to break free from the bonds of codependency , while learning how to be in a relationship with a lover, a best-friend, a mother, or a brother, who was mutually loving, respecting, and caring.

In writing The Human Magnet Syndrome, my goal was to explain what codependency is, not the solutions to it. It was my intention to both revise and redefine it, while explaining its predictable and reflexive behavior pattern, and why codependents repeatedly “dance” with harmful Pnarcs despite cascades of consequences, losses, and emotional pain. As much as I sympathized with the urgency of these questions, I maintained the course of my mission, which was to create a seismic shift in the understanding of codependency. I would not waver from this decision, since I had already planned to follow-up my HMS work with an instructive “how to” book focused on practical solutions and the path to healing.

Even with the clarity of my master plan, I still needed to convince others—both professionals and patients eager for help—why my “why material” needed to be separated from and to precede the eventual “how to” discussion. The following lays out my rationale.

CHAPTER 8  STOP WRESTLING WITH PIGS!  How to Master the Observe Don’t Absorb Technique
The Emotional Wrestling Ring

The emotional ring is the fight that occurs in the SLD’s head, a fight which the SLD always loses. This thought and feeling-based wrestling ring consists of the flood of thoughts, feelings, suppositions, predictions, and judgments that overwhelms the SLD before, during, and after the SLD enters the physical ring. Adding another level of complexity, in any given emotional ring, the SLD is wrestling the current Pnarc, as well as Pnarcs from the past, namely the narcissistic parent or parents responsible for attachment trauma (the cause of SLDD).

The emotional wrestling ring is more dangerous than its physical counterpart. Not only is it invisible and lacking a definitive shape, but it is also the venue in which inner voices or dialogue command your attention. On a good day, the voices or dialogue are patient, accepting, self-forgiving, and self-loving. On a bad day, the Pnarc takes residence in your head, berating you with a cacophony of conclusions, judgments, and impatient commands that unfairly second-guess, judge, and ridicule your actions while degrading and derailing any attempt to secure healthy boundaries.

With the Pnarc infecting your thoughts, feelings, and judgments, the wrestling match is over before it starts, and the inevitable outcome is assured. When you add to the mix the flight or fight and false power responses, the SLD’s thought processes and judgment are impaired, rendering them the surefire loser of any altercation, argument and/or conflict with their Pnarc partner. In addition, once the SLD “rents” the Pnarc “space in their head,” all bets are off, as defeat in the emotional ring ensures another humiliating smack-down in the physical. The fight may seem to the SLD to be fought and lost in the physical ring, but this is an illusion, as most fights are lost in the emotional ring.

Muhammad Ali’s Emotional Knockouts
Muhammad Ali, international sports icon and boxing legend, exemplified a person who dominated his sport because of his mastery of both the emotional and physical rings. Many boxing aficionados and sports historians would agree that Ali may not have always been physically stronger, faster, or more skilled than his opponents. However, these same people would agree that despite his opponents’ obvious advantages, “The Champ” would find a way to win the boxing match. It is unimportant to this book to determine if Muhammad Ali was a Pnarc or not. But what is of value is to demonstrate how and why his psychological boxing methods were a masterful use of the emotional ring, and how they enabled him to achieve dominance in the boxing world.

Especially in the mid to later part of his career, Ali racked up wins through the carefully executed psychological manipulation of his opponents. His big wins, especially against the likes of Joe Frazier and George Foreman, were attributed to his ability to get into their heads, provoke unbridled anger, and ultimately, render them their own worst enemies. Winning in the emotional ring was achieved by taunting, ridiculing, and embarrassing them, which got them so enraged and hell-bent to pulverize Ali that they would ultimately sabotage their own efforts to win the fight.

Once Ali’s opponents were antagonized to the point of rage and a hyper-focused obsession to beat him to a pulp, they expended huge amounts of their energy early on in the match. The combination of his opponents’ triggered vindictive rage, their all-out intention to knock him out in the first few rounds, and Ali’s successful use of his “rope-a-dope” strategy (hunkering down in a safe, defensive position), all but guaranteed Ali a win. By the time his opponent lost his steam, and perhaps his false power, Ali would tap into his reserves and deliver a flurry of bout-ending punches.

Simply speaking, Ali won most of his fights by leading his opponents into an emotional ring and manipulating them to fight unknowingly against themselves; just as the Pnarc does with the unsuspecting SLD.