Men and women always have been drawn into romantic relationships instinctively, not so much by what they see, feel or think, but more by an invisible and irresistible relationship force. Ross Rosenberg, a seasoned psychotherapist, professional trainer and recovering codependent, calls this compelling and seductive “love force” the Human Magnet Syndrome.
“Chemistry,” or the intuitive knowingness of perfect compatibility, is synonymous with the Human Magnet Syndrome. This is the attraction force that brings compatibly opposite, but exquisitely matched, lovers together: codependents and narcissists.
This magnetic love connection predictably begins like a fairy-tale, but quickly morphs into a painful “seesaw” of love and hate and hope and disappointment. The experience of relational perfection is really just a guise for the temporary suspension of pathological loneliness, an excruciatingly painful condition that plagues both codependents and narcissists. At the end of the day, the codependent’s dreams of a soul mate invariably dissolve into a “cellmate” reality.
The main thesis of this book is that codependents and pathological narcissists are naturally attracted to each other because of their opposite but compatible personality types. Codependents typically lose themselves in relationships in which they provide the lion’s share of love, respect and care to others while neglecting to obtain the same for themselves. Conversely, narcissists fall deeply in love with selfless caretakers (codependents) who satisfy their emotional and personal needs with no demands of reciprocity. As partners, they create a dysfunctionally compatible relationship. The same magnetic force that brought them together also“ bonds them into a long-term and persistent relationship.